I will admit, my prediction was wrong yesterday, and I am a wee bit upset that my usual formulaic American Idol Finale didn’t quite pan out with the youngest contestant winning.  I guess all of the negative comments toward Cook last night drove America out of Simon Cowell’s arms and into David Cook’s.

.. and thanks to all who came and made the Finale Party so much fun!

A few tidbits on the finale…

• I’m really glad they included the SYTYCD dancers in some of the numbers.  They should have used them more and better.  Great idea, just underdone.
• I got most jazzed up when Syesha came out to sing early…. With Seal.  If only she had worn the Red Dress…
• I was most fulfilled when Renaldo came in to sing, and was totally surprised with the Marching Band accompaniment.  I was assuming it would just be the regular band playing.  Nice touch!  How they kept him with the band, I will never know.
• Thank the heavens above that they retired the ‘golden idols’ that they started two years ago.  Hopefully it sends a message to the freaks who audition just for the chance for a glory invite to the finale (I’m thinking of the man who appeared in his muffins and underwear only).
• I think Archuleta singing that really famous song with that really famous guy who played the piano (I’m such a Pop Music idiot… I can’t remember his name) was definitely the musical highlight.  Those are the type of songs he should be singing.   It was a natural fit.
• The outtakes from the Ford music videos were classic.
• The girls were hideous in their red dress group number.  Amanda stormed across the stage like some kind of extra-terrestrial.  Will someone teach her how to walk?
• Step-touch was WAY too overused this year in the group numbers.
• Oh how wonderful it was to see Chickeze.  I wish he would have gotten a bit further.
• I thought Jason did a better job on Hallelujah, but the working himself up and shaking the mic for lack of a real emotion was just a bit over the top for me.  Take it down a notch, buddy.
• George Michael’s song was absolutely boring, but wins the award for best lighting and projections.
• Most hilarious unscripted moment was when Ryan Seacrest almost ran himself off of the stage on the magic flying carpet.

Once again: congrats to David Cook, congrats to David A.  Congrats to myself, and congrats to you my dear faithful readers for yet another smashingly successful year of American Idol blogging!

WhiteEyebrows… Out!

PS> Oh yeah, and here’s the promised photo: me as Simon…

Yes… that is my beautiful red hair and WhiteEyebrows all blackened up!  Can you believe it?!  And with PERMANENT DYE too!

Out of control

Let’s start by talking theme. Is it just me or did they take the boxing metaphor just a little too far??? Oh, but I’m glad they got this one right… yes, David Archuleta is “…weighing in at around 100 lbs.”

But lets look past the stupid intro, and to things that really matter, like our Judges… Paula is bedazzled tonight (like Monday’s microphone), and Simon is (yet again) baring a bit too much chest… just slightly inappropriate for a man his age.

Now to some reviews of actual singing…

David Cook

Only To Be With You: This is a great song choice, and I think he did all right with it. The first part was exciting, but the middle lost some gas. It’s almost as if he was more concerned with how he was going to get up onto the little platform behind the judges.

Oh yeah, and someone needs to inform Randy we’re in 2008… Randy told Cook he was the best contestant of 2007. Who knows? Maybe he meant what he said…

Dream Big: First of all, I like the song. It’s not quite as bubble-gum-candy-store-sappy like the ones in the past couple of years have been. I’m glad… you’d hope that with the biggest TV show in the world, they could find a couple decent songwriters.

However, I got a vibe during that song from David Cook that he wasn’t really into the song… but he brought it home in the end. “You were singing your face off,” Randy says.

World That I Know: I’m totally on the fence after this performance. I thought it was technically good. I thought he was semi-engaged in it… but there was something else wrong… He threw in a few little emo head jabs in it? Was that it? I’m not sure. Perhaps it was because he was judge hating in his heart for giving the first two rounds to Archuleta… I’m just too exhausted right now to put my finger on it.

SIDENOTE: Apparently Paula is off of her 12 step program, and someone has swapped her Coke cup for the typical hard liquor.  She had some great quotes tonight… for the first 3 or 4 times she opened her mouth, she just told the contestant why they fit the song title.  Weird.  But this one took the cake: “You’re standing in [a puddle of] your own truth!” What does this mean, Paula?  (true, I added the words in brackets, but you have to admit, it makes it sound so much funnier!)

Now… time to take a minute and sit down with brother cook. We need to have a chat. I understand you are a bit miffed at the judges, seeing how they weren’t digging anything you were doing tonight.. but that’s no excuse to take such a jab at Archuleta for choosing his well loved Imagine for a third song.  That was a pretty classless remark… definitely a backhanded comment, and definitely cost you in the respect category.

Hard to choose, but I say Cook’s best song was #2…

David Archuleta

Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me:  Wow.  Wow… wow.  At first I thought this might be a snoozer compared to Cook’s opener, but boy did Archuleta lay the hammer down!  He was even doing up/down movements with his typically side/side-only right hand!  He was INTO this thing!  He really sang it to win it.  I give the kid props

SIDENOTE: I have to interject a brilliant comment here… when they were pushing the American Idol Tour tickets Tam piped up:  “It just wouldn’t be American Idol with out a hard sell.”

Amen.

Original Song (name?): I liked the pace of his new song, again an improvement over last year. I just look at this kid and what he does with his voice, and just can’t believe he is 17 years old! He is something else! At this time, I have to say that I have to vote for David Archuleta. He just won me over with this mediocre song.  You sit there on the couch and just take in what an incredible talent this guy is, and so geniunely “aww shucks” about it all.

I hate to say it, but Cook’s tears at the end seemed just a little manufactured… like he is pushing for the emotion just a bit.  I know there’s some kind of weird unstated weirdness going on in his personal life, with the comments the judges are making, but dang… come on.  Out with it.

Imagine: As uncreative as the decision to sing Imagine again was, I think it was the right decision. Archuleta reminded all of us why and how we fell in love with him way back in the top 20. This was the song that set him apart at the outset, and it was just as good as before – if not slightly better.

Simon says, “A knock out!” TKO goes to David Archuleta…

David’s best song tonight (and perhaps one of his best of the season) was his first:

We’ll see ya’ll tomorrow at the FINALE!

My Prediction: David ARCHULETA!

Microphones have no business being bedazzled with all sorts of fake jewels. Are the artists who use them trying to distract you from their face or their terrible voices?

Maybe both.

First, I have to bring up Fantasia’s freak show at the beginning of tonight’s show.  What was that all about?  Who told gave her delusions that she could get up on stage and move like that?  Please, people!  She was about as sexy as watching a trucker on stage.  Even Simon couldn’t keep the disbelief from his face…

And who can forget this moment with Ryan?

Tam said she looked like Ursula, the Evil Witch from The Little Mermaid.  Please, please never put us through her again.  Thank you.

Now, I just need to say a heartfelt goodbye and give some props to mahh wooman from Season 7.  Syesha was one of my favorites from Hollywood week, and I kept hoping she would blossom a little earlier in the competition.  I was honestly surprised and delighted she made it as far as she did.  She was in the bottom two or three for pretty much all of the top 12, but she is a fighter and hung in there!

I have only two words left about Syesha:

Red Dress.  This is all.

And now to the reviews:

David Archuleta:

And So It Goes… Wow… wow… wow. This is one of my favorite songs of all time. I love this arrangement. I love his voice on this song. I would buy an album of his with this as the title track. I’m kind of floored. This one gets a video.

With You… congratulations go out to David Archuleta and Ryan for the most awkward live TV moment this season, trying to get him over and in position for his second number. This song reveals just how ‘precious’ David is. He just kind of bobs around to the music like he’s at a Stake Dance and sings it just effortlessly.

Maybe someone can educate me what a “boo” is… I even googled it and didn’t find anything…

Longer… This just reinforces David’s stake in the ground as the melt-your-heart ballad singer in the competition. Other than that this song did nothing for me. Didn’t help or hurt him at all. Just more of the same…

Conclusion: I think David did what he could with what he was given. I thought song #1 was his best. Song #2 was a good opportunity to see him try something different, which he will need to get better at to become a real artist with any longevity. I think tonight was a wash for him. I don’t think he did anything that advanced his case in anyone’s mind tonight.

Syesha Mercado

If I Ain’t Got You… I love the sparkley dress! You are sparkling more and more every week, and your voice is sparkling, too. I thought the song was beautiful, you look lovely… what more would someone want from American Idol?

Fever… This is a really cool song, and she did it well. Several people have sang this song on Idol, and this version shows that Syesha can shimmy her way through a song. She was really overselling the “acting” thing she seems to have just recently discovered. It’s almost as if someone handed her a little slip of paper that said, “ham it up, darlin’, this is your audition for oprah and The Color Purple.” So… I think she sang it well (it’s an easy song), but she decided to take it way too hammy!

Hit Me Up… I like the change in tempo of song for her. It was a little opposite of what she’s been going for so far. I will say that she held it together vocally. I didn’t wince at all, at least, but it didn’t really make a case for her to become the American Idol or pull ahead of David or David.

Conclusion: Syesha did awesome with her first song but went sadly downhill from there. Go home, honey, and wait for Oprah to call, cause you know you’re getting a stint as Celie in the 2nd National Tour of The Color Purple.

David Cook

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face… Wow… another great song choice, and an awesome arrangement. This is a very very hard song to sing, and it showed in his voice a bit. He’s not as good at holding out notes and just letting them be out there. The song had a great climax, though, moreso than the other contestants. But it was a song that asked us to feel something, to go on a journey with him.

Dare You to Move… I think this is a good fit for his voice, a natural choice. Not a super-creative version or anything, but it reminds his base what kinds of brooding, self-indulgent records he will make. And what is up with his hard r’s? Did he take a page from Carly’s dialect?

I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing… I thought this song choice was too “predictable” (to use an overused word from tonight). But since the “predictable” producers (which simon cowell is one BTW) chose the song, I can’t fault him on that. I loved having the strings on the stage with him, although I thought it looked like they were going to break into a Bach minuet at any second of the first verse of the song.

Conclusion:

1. David Cook
2. David Archuleta
3. Syesha Mercado

I think it’s possible that Syesha might have tied David A in terms of quality of performance tonight, but unfortunately David has much larger a following and is riding the wave he created early on, even before the top 24.

So it is with great sadness that I admit that mahhhh woooman of Season 7 will probably be going home tomorrow night…

I agree with Simon that David Cook won the night, but it wasn’t because of any uncontrollable factor (like song choice), in fact song choice went against him in my opinion. His songs were more recognizable and “predictable”. David C won the night because of hard work and sweat he left on the stage. David Cook did something with every piece of crap he was handed. The others made some missteps in their own song choices and only met expectations with the songs that were chosen for them.

As I listened to everything, I caught myself thinking… “Is this guy more believable as America’s Idol than David Archuleta?” Suprisingly, the answer I came up with is yes. Let’s see if that holds up for the next week.

I will just say with 58.67% certainty that he is on drugs. He openly admitted his brain was fried [by drugs] on national television. Didn’t he ever see the commercial with the egg and the frying pan?

Then he made up completely different words to the song he was supposed to sing on the play out. He didn’t even want to sing it – he wanted to run off the stage like the little girl he is.

Jason was unique and showed promise early, but in the end I don’t think he ever really wanted it.

Good bye our pointy eared Legolas friend. We’ll see you back in Rowlett soon!

In other news, AI will be returning David Archuleta to his hometown, Murray Utah, this week. My mom  (and aunts and uncles) went to David A’s high school back when they were the Murray High “Smelterites” rather than the “Spartans”. That was because there used to be a huge brick smelter in Murray.

I just can’t wait!

But she was still up and dancing like a drunken… la dee da dee da.

Also, was it just me or was the audio mix totally off? I couldn’t hear the band at all…

To the reviews…

David C

I am just not impressed by this song. He has clearly tapered off and might even be declining in recent weeks. In the past two weeks I really haven’t heard anything I was bowled over by. David A is clearly pulling in front of him in the contest of the Davids.

Syesha

She’s so sparkley tonight! I loved the sparkley dress.

The first verse of her song seemed like a waste of time and excessively slow. And why is is that I feel like she was really trying to shake it? I think someone finally told her, “check it out, you are the only girl left in the competition! so shake it!”

Jason

I Shot the Sheriff – more like, “sheriff, please come shoot me in the head.” I’m no Bob Marley fan, aficionado, or even connoisseur… but I would guess Bob never sang the song like that and probably did a triple flip in his grave. Never, ever, ever, ever sing a Bob Marley like that.. you are white bread, and you pushed this one way too hard.  It was “ghastly…”, a “massacre..”, “atrocious…” I love Simon.

“Paula… build the confidence for the next song…”

David A

I want to commend David for taking my advice and trying two more moves with his right hand above his waist line. And he was also opening his eyes… the best advice ever from Sir ALW.

But seriously, it was an awesome version – that is one tough song to sing and not make it same-ish or boring. Nice work…

Oh, and I’m with David.  Paula, when I look at you after I sing, “your face scares me.”

Best quote of round 1:

You could have whistled that song and it would have been better than the last one.

Round 2

David C

The Who: I’m slightly impressed by this song. I thought it was all right, but still off. So.. if Paula were to watch my soul, what would she see? Here’s the question… here’s what you should comment on in this blog. Paula says she was glad David let her see into his soul. So if Paula looked into your soul with her rose-colored glasses, what would she see?

Syesha

I love this song. Love, love, love, love! …And I thought she did an amazing job with it. It is a song that we will always associate with Sam Cooke, and perhaps she did a little too much back phrasing in the 2nd verse, but it was absolutely beautiful!

…Then came the tears… water, snot, everything. It was truly touching.

Jason

Wow… you need to go home. So, so, so bad. Seriously, go freaking home. You forgot like 9 lines of lyrics and it was one of the worst covers in Idol history. Come on, man. We are so over you. Stick a fork in him… cuz he’s done. Maybe you can just pack your guitar up, hop a flight to New York City, go sit in Central Park and just sing a bunch of Jack Johnson stuff – Karaoke style.

David A

… This is the man with the golden vocal chords. What can we say more than he already has done? He was the only one to get up there and blow both songs right out of the park.

Conclusion:

for one of the first times, we all agree…

1. David A
2. Syesha
3. David C
4. Jason

Epilogue:

On nights such as this evening, with stars glimmering in the distance, masked slightly by thin whips of remnants of a thunderstorm. We say to thee, American Idol, NAY! Nay to the awful waste of our precious TiVO time. We are in the top 4! We are in supposed to be going to the best of the best, hearing the best of their best. And yet we still suffer through the likes of Jason Castro’s disaster and David Cook’s mediocrity!

Please, sirs, please release us from this agony.

Thank you.

It is a DRESS UP LIKE YOUR FAVORITE CONTESTANT OR JUDGE FROM AMERICAN IDOL party.  There will be prizes for the most creative and/or unexpected costumes.  (you don’t have to come dressed up if you don’t want to)

For all of you closeted AI fans, now is the time to show your true colors and make yourself known to society at large!

If you have any ideas for things we should/could/would do to make this party awesome, let me know.

Thanks,
WhiteEyebrows

Dear Brooke,

From the moment I saw you in your “Where’s Waldo” shirt and heard your Carly Simon throwback voice, I knew we’d be seeing you in the top 5. Too bad you didn’t make it further than that.

All I can say is: so long. I thought it was so lovely and emotional and slightly disturbing that you were so emotional last night, yet somehow through the river of tears and snot you were able to squeak out a few notes.

You know, you should feel good, though. You went as far as you probably could or should have. You probably could have made it top 3 if you did everything right, but there ain’t no way you’re taking out either David.

Now, as for the next step in your career.

I want you to march straight down to Deseret Book, and make your Mormon pop album. Think of all the 40-50 somethings who are major Carly Simon fans who would LOVE for you to make an album they can buy in their favorite LDS Bookstore…

Plus, your “I survived the America, Hollywood, and Simon Cowell” story and squeaky clean image will all translate into dollars if you follow my advice.

If you don’t and you choose to have a real music career, you will likely have a super short career on some indie lable, since you will never give up artistic control of your albums or your morals – and lets face it, in the music industry, sex sells.

So, go make your acoustic/piano album for Deseret Book, and I’ll see you at the book signing.

Signed,
WhiteEyebrows

Then, as if the heavens opened and someone smiled down upon me, the recording magically appeared and magically worked!

Can I just say that I am so incredibly excited for Neil Diamond night!! I think Neil Diamond is perhaps one of the most incredible singer/songwriter and all-around good guys who exist. Why are all of today’s super-talented people complete freaks? Why can’t they just be normal like Neil Diamond and Paul Simon? Sure his music can be a little one-dimensional and void of different flavors, but it is still classic.

Now to the review…

Round One

Jason

First, you sang Forever in Blue Jeans. I have one word to say to you: weenie. It’s the most weenie version of the song I’ve ever heard, for sure. Everything about it was weenie, from arrangement with the little weenie violins playing the melody to your really weenie clothes and dreadlocks.

David C

I’m Alive: Is it just me or is David Cook actually becoming more Emo with every song he sings? At first I thought it was just a mild emo thing… the hair and pale face were slight hints, but he’s only recently started doing the more weird head jabs, the off beat jerky guitar strums you more commonly see with the more alternative/emo musicians. (like that freak from dot dot dot on the first season of “Next Great American Band” — yes, I admit I indulged once or twice)

If you need education on what I’m talking about, here you go:

One thing is for sure, he knew he was a hack after that song was over. His face said right out loud, “I’m a sell-out hack.”

Brooke

I’m a Believer: Brooke? What was this pitiful thing? You didn’t make any believers with that song!

First, you should have ditched the guitar. It just hindered you having a good time with the song and really singing the devil out of it into the microphone. I thought it was a crutch for you, and I don’t think we have to be constantly reminded how talented you are at all those instruments. Overkill.

Second, you really chose the wrong key… it started out too low for you.

Have you absolutely plateaued on this show already? I think maybe…

David A

Sweet Caroline: Will someone please teach this boy what to do with his right hand? I will give him credit for trying, though, unlike Brooke. I’m going to say that this was one of the better performances of Round 1. I think he took the delightfully vanilla flavor of this song and injected some fudge ripples into it.

Oh, and yes, again he forgets lyrics. This kid will never be a live performer if he can’t keep 10 lines of a song in his head…

Syesha

Hello Again: I thought this was a great song for her, and it sure does mean something different, and a bit more, coming from a female voice. I really liked all the modifications to the melody and the runs she did. I thought it really gave the song some life. Just like how her purple dress did, too. America, pay attention to this one. She isn’t throwing in the towel yet. If David A’s version was Fudge Ripple, hers was Fudge Brownie!

Round 1 Conclusion: I say this one goes to Syesha with David a close close second. Almost a tie.

Now for a word from my AA sponsor, Paula:

Oh gosh we’ve never had to write stuff down… I don’t know how to write. I thought you sang twice already… actually did you sing 3 times? I’m not sure. Oh gosh, being a judge is so hard… I have to actually have real thoughts.. hmm oh well.

I really dig this special shotgun judging format. Simon is the only one who said anything coherent, and Paula doesn’t take 10 minutes to tell everyone how beautiful they look. Keep it.

Round 2

Jason

September Morn: Did Jason just sing the same song twice? Freak. He chose the two “gayest” (i hate that word, but I mean it in it’s most derogatory yet sensitive sense here) Neil Diamond songs. And does this boy know anything about climaxing a song? About dynamics? One of the greatest climaxes Neil Diamond ever wrote is in this song and he just threw it away. Bleah! That was terrible.

And “I was choking” is your best excuse? That was the best you can do? Really?

David C

All I Really Need Is You: Now this was the first song that I felt was fully owned by a contestant. There were some great moments in this one. The song went somewhere, and asked us to feel something. It wasn’t only current, but it didn’t sound like hokey-pokey-folksy-prodding-along Neil Diamond.

Strange, but you even notice that he dropped the stupid little emo tricks i was complaining about before.

I agree with Simon, brilliant!

Brooke

I Am, I Said: Now this is a song I can believe from Brooke. It made it all the difference for her to be singing about Arizona rather than New York. Now if she was just singing and not playing the piano, she would be able to communicate with the audience a bit more.

This is definitely the Brooke we like! No pretension – just honesty and talent.

…And I see she’s now back to thanking everyone and their dog… [groan]

David A

America: This is the song that certainly has the most potential coming into the show tonight. I thought he really wasted the first verse, but into the first chorus the magic started happening. The arrangement seemed way too treble-ey for me. Can we hire a freakin’ bass player, please?

Nice cracking of the voice, too. I love how he just kind of winced and went right on. Nice work, dude.

I think Paula just called David a “savant?” I’m not sure she knows exactly what that means…

Syesha

Thank the Lord for the Nighttime: Again, I thought this was a super-creative choice on her part. Syesha definitely gets the song-choice award for tonight. In a category that could have really brought her down, she picked two winners and then hit them out of the ballpark. She also made them fit her voice really well. I’m giving her gold stars for that! Not easy to do with such a folksy, understated, bland sound that Neil is.

Conclusions:

1. Syesha/David A
2. David C
3. Brooke
4. Jason

I’m giving Syesha the top spot again, and I realize most people will not agree with me. But hear me out… it’s not just because she’s mah woooman and is fighting an uphill battle against these two Davids, but because she really, truly picked two better songs, surmounted a bigger challenge with the genre, and had the biggest return on that investment.

Realistically, though, this will come down to David A and David C. It will be raw talent and youth vs a bit more refined talent and wristband wearing.

I am just so frustrated, I couldn’t be more more more upset. How, how, how in the world could her amazing performance have not risen above Brooke’s biggest gaffe in AI history and Jason’s greatest slaughtering of a song since Sanjaya?

All I can hope now is that Carly offended the Christian sensibilities of Americans and she will go…

I will say that watching Carly again, she did disappoint on that number, especially in the chorus. She probably deserves to go if I have to choose between those two…

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Huge sigh of relief… thankfully my woooooman survives another night.

It’s personal now, America. If you let the freaky blonde and/or the Bob Marley/Legolas combo beat out mah wooooman, then we are going to have words!

Thank you.

P.S. The best moment tonight was when Brooke admitted she interrupted the judges too much when they give her critiques!

P.P.S. They must have seen our list of guest artist suggestions I posted earlier this season… cause next week is NEIL DIAMOND – one of my favorites!

P.P.P.S. Wasn’t Leona Lewis awesome… I think i want to buy her album, especially if it comes with the pyrotechnics! Fire. Fire.

1. Of all our contestants, who do you think would be the one to mix it up this week? Who is going for the freaky arrangement? Not David Cook… Yes… David Archuleta! Surprise!

B. For years now, I have been trying to put into words exactly how I feel about Paula’s clapping… and now Tamara has done it for me…

Paula claps like a child that just discovered her hands.

-TLB

Now to the reviews…

Syesha

Wow… wow… wow.. she looks hot. She could be singing the ingredients off of the cereal box and we wouldn’t care. This was, undoubtedly, her best week. And the red dress and beautiful hair made it all worth it.

I think Syesha might have a career on the stage. You know what I see in her? I see a mini Audra McDonald in her.

Jason

After we see Syesha’s hot, hot hair, we cut to Jason’s nasty nasty hair… eww.

“I’ve never seen a man sing Memory with Dredlocks!” says Lord Andrew.

The singing? OHHHH… how hideous. He totally ruined this song! He betrayed everything that this song is in Musical theatre. He was absolutely clueless!

“It identifies your unique being…” [as an elf] (The Brauns says)

All I can say is Thank you Simon for saying outloud how terrible it was!

Brooke

Well, Brooke. I had high hopes for you this week. I think you picked a perfect song for your voice, but then with your terrible false start at the beginning… I don’t know… how do you recover from that?

I think Paula, as a performer, had every right to rip her a new one like she did. It might have been the first downer comment she has ever given in her life. But when you are on stage, you don’t get a chance to restart. You forge ahead, even if you have to sing “watermelon, watermelon”

David A

“Littl’ David..” as Lord Andrew said…

As an Andrew Lloyd Webber purist, I didn’t like this arrangement the first time, but watching it back it really grew on me.

If you didn’t notice, he totally blew the lyrics near the end of the bridge… and he just totally made it up. Brooke, did you see that? That’s how you do it.

Carly

Yes, yes, yes. Bless Andrew Lloyd Webber for sparing us the sappy ballad that she would have totally sucked on and letting us into some of your lesser known hits. JC Superstar was perhaps the best choice for her! That was awesome. One of her best performances in a long time.

Andrew Lloyd Webber practically invented the rock musical… thank goodness someone paid a little homage to that!

David C

One thing’s for certain, David Cook opens his eyes much better than David Archuleta.

I was not a believer at the beginning of this song. I thought he was going to totally tank on it, and he made me eat my words by the end…

Conclusion

The order based on tonight’s performances:

1. Syesha
2. David C
3. David A
4. Carly
5. Brooke
6. Jason

I think it’s pretty well a lock that Brooke will be going home this week. So long my little Mormon American Idol. We’ll miss you.

Bonus Quote from Jordan:

Was that from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Raincoat?

Oh, and PS… Can I get a WHAT WHAT for Lord Andrew’s red velvet pants? What a strange and awkward little man.

Into the breach…

David A

David gave me the impression tonight that he is now singing to win. He is one of the few contestants who hold up under the longer song, keeping the listener interested for the full 3 minutes. With some contestants you can tell they are just a 30 second or 1 minute singer, but David can hang together for a full song!

Carly

I think Carly did a nice job on this song. I think Simon was a bit too harsh, but I would not be sad to see Carly go any time soon. I think I heard too much Mariah in the song, though. A little too karaoke for me.

Syesha

Mah Woooman’s performance was engaging… she seemed really emotionally involved with the song – not too many words to remember, though. “Vanishing” and “whoa, whoa” I thought it was a great interpretation, and it didn’t remind me or wish that I was listening to Mariah.

I don’t know if I can bring myself to say it, but I have to agree with Paula… picking Vanishing was a good move because most people don’t know it, so she avoids the direct comparison.

Brooke

Well, I will say, having double the length of music was a small noose for Brooke to hang herself with. The second half of the song was identical to the first half. There was very little different or unique about it. I wanted to hear something new, something nice, something different. It seemed like she was just rushing a bit, and the solo at the piano didn’t work for me in the end.

Boring.

Kristy Lee

Kristy Lee had a hard row to hoe this week being out of her country element, forced into Mariah land. I think she is really progressing (vocally) and starting to come into her own. I thought she definitely outsang Brooke. She is almost on par with Syesha’s vocals for me.

She was quite visibly upset by less than glowing reviews. Has she been drinking her own kool aid?

Also, I have a sneaky suspicion that her dress was made from gold thread spun by Rumpelstiltskin himself.

David C

Ok. I have an issue with plastic wrist bands.

What is with these things?! Aren’t we done with this fad? It totally ruined David’s monottone look this week. Where was his personal stylist on this one?

But wow… the song was really great. I think it even bested Archuleta.

I didn’t like the end, though, the way he didn’t resolve the ending.

… and talking about drinking your own Kool Aid… he is way too into himself for my taste.

Jason

I think Jason will continue to stay in this, despite the negative feelings I have toward his elf ears and dreadlocks. He found his niche and is really identifying with the fans in it. I think he’ll stay in it through top 5 and possibly top 3.

Conclusions

Bottom 3 hasn’t been ever been clearer than it was this evening:

1. David C
2. David A
3. Jason
4. Syesha
5. Carly
6. Kristy Lee
7. Brooke

I suppose since they considered last year such a “success” they figure they don’t need to even announce what the unspecific, fake cause is this year. They are just going to let everyone bleed out money they can’t afford for absolutely no reason. Should I be concerned again? Yes.

Will I still be watching? *sigh* … Of course.

Let’s dig in.

Michael

This wasn’t a bad start for the show, but still a bit boring to me. It all sounds like a wannabe, like some guy who wanted to be Queen singing in the shower all his life.  People told him he was pretty good, mostly to make him feel good, or because they had no concept of what is good, or they are tone deaf, so then one day he auditions for American Idol, even though he is clearly un-American with his fake Australian accent and lack of sufficient adoration for Baseball and Squeaky Cheese.

Did I take that a bit too far?  I hope so.

Oh, and Paula’s comment: “My chihuahua is going to join you on stage.” I’m not sure that’s a compliment – bowww wowwww wowwwww.

Syesha

Well, my woman finally knocked one out of the park for me. It still doesn’t stand up to Fantasia’s original rendition of it – no one can sing that song like Fantasia. She does get credit for doing everything that you’re absolutely not supposed to do for two weeks in a row: 1) sing songs by mariah, whitney, or celine and 2) sing songs that other American Idol contestant made memorable.  Props for the bravery.1

Can I just take this opportunity to lament the fact that we have no women in the competition this year who can take the paint off the walls with their voice? What happened to voices like Melinda, LaKisha, Mandisa, Latoya, Fantasia, or even Jordin?

I’m disappointed.

Jason

This week Jason seems to be channeling the leprechauns with his green leggings and rhinestone studded double v-neck shirts.

What was this song? My first thought was, how dare you sing my Katherine McPhee song? Then TLB informed me that the person who originated this prancing through the meadow leprechaun version sang it so much better. I’ll believe her.

I like the arrangement (even though the ukulele was a bit much) but the whole Jason Castro thing is still a little elven for me.  I feel like his demographic is quite limited.

Awesome mouth move though… (if you followed me at all last year, you know I’m obsessive about singer’s mouth movements and if they bug me)

You would think by this mouth move that he was singing Korn, not some Kermit the Frog song…

Kristy Lee

I have a slight suspicion that Kristy has been reading my blog. In her video, she stole my lines… “everything will work out in the end.” And also stole my line that we should always do what’s right… even when it’s stupid or no one agrees with it.

At the start of the song I was asking, “how did we get here? ” Why is she still here? But I’m still glad she gets a nineteenth second chance.  Everyone needs one of those.

By the end I just couldn’t freaking believe it. How, how, how did she do so well?!?! She is supposed to be tanking it! She’s supposed to be on the down hill slope. She’s supposed to be headed out. I’m afraid she even out sang my WoooMan Syesha…

I’m gonna say this about Kristy Lee.. I like how unaffected she is. She is just classically beautiful, not all put on, over made-up, and plastic like Carly.

I never thought I’d bring myself to do it.. but here’s the Kristy Lee Video:

David Cook

I felt like this week was a step backward for David Cook. Maybe not a step backward, but certainly not a step forward. Perhaps the greatest evidence to date that he is way too into himself. Perhaps the most self-absorbed, stupid “I wrote something on my hand you need to pay attention to” was what pushed me over the edge.

Give me a break.

The white jacket was creepy and Michael Jackson-esque. Pompous maybe wasn’t the right word… but it was a very self-absorbed performance.

Carly

I thought it was intense in the beginning, but I thought she lost her way toward the end there. It wasn’t great. Her stock was over inflated by the judges early, and she still hasn’t risen to the occasion.

Sidenote: Paula: How many is a bazillion?

David Archuleta

Of ALL THE SONGS in the world you could have picked… pllllllllllllease! Give me a break. That was a terrible pick. I don’t understand. But then the judges loved the pick. I don’t understand.

However, the “lick those lips” sign made the whole segment worth it.

Brooke

I had high expectations – I hoped last weeks slip would have spurred her to really knock one out this week, but unfortunately it was like a tacky lounge lizard version that you might hear in your local mall. That’s just one step above freaky musak elevator music, for those of you who are keeping track.

And what’s up with this pouty face…

Did she get that tip from Ramiele before she left?  UGH!  Why must that little midget live on?!?

Conclusion

Was tonight a waste of our airwaves? I think maybe it was.

Here is my order based on tonight only:

1. Kristy Lee
2. David A
3. Syesha
4. Jason
5. Brooke
6. Michael
7. Carly
8. David Cook

Bottom 3 will be Brooke, Michael and Carly.