Aug 07 2008
First of all, let me apologize for my lack of posting in this fine month of August. I realize that many of you rely on WhiteEyebrows.com for your daily dose of propaganda, intellectual stimulation, humor and mirth, and so I profusely apologize for the acute absence of said things this past week. (Especially the mirth)
This blog is going to be a bit of a scattered catch-up (as opposed to a Catsup or Ketchup).
Jul 29 2008
Well, I’m more than halfway through my vacation, and I am proud to report that I have stimulated the economy now in 3 states.
President Bush and our lovely Congress gave we single people $600 to stimulate the economy, so here is a small sampling of my economic stimulus activities:
Jul 22 2008
Earlier this year, I wrote about the coming economic storms and how the word “bagel” was my euphemism for a recession.
Well, here we are about six months later and we still have not had an official bagel yet - that we know of - but we are enjoying record high prices on almost every staple of life, from gas to food to iPhones…. oh wait… iPhones are cheaper than they’ve ever been. Never mind on the whole “staples of life” bit.
Jun 24 2008
As most boys do, we enjoyed a little rough-housing with my dad when we were little. The rough housing endgame was usually one of three torture mechanisms:
We knew that if Dad could get us into one of these positions, the fight was over and we would have to yield, so our main goal was to stay out of the Whose-Gow, Nevada Torture, or Whisker Pie.
Well, I feel like the universe currently has me in all three of these at the same time… And what am I referring to?
Gas Prices!
Continue reading “The Whose-Gow, Nevada Torture, and Whisker Pie”
Jun 09 2008
I hope you enjoyed the few days I gave you off of reading this blog last week. Here are some random thoughts to get the week going… Continue reading “A Few Thoughts”
Jan 23 2008
Yesterday was a crazy day!
First, Fred Thompson finally dropped out of the race. Well… I can’t say “dropped out” really… I mean he was barely even running. He was more walking, skulking, or sauntering. Maybe he was mozying. Yes. Mozying. And now he’s undoubtedly back in his overstuffed armchair watching old Law and Order reruns (like the rest of us)…
Also, Bernanke announced that the Fed would cut interest rates by .75% yesterday, one of the biggest cuts in over 20 years. Way to show no one’s panicked in this country, especially in the financial sector… whoa! Big write downs again today by Bank of America and Wachovia… awesome. More correction…
BRING IT ON! I’m not trying to tempt the fates. I don’t want good hard working Americans to lose their jobs or retirement money, but I’m OK with some of those billion dollar hedge funds and executive bonuses to be brought down out of the sky. But there’s another, better reason for wanting our economy to slip… it’s the only way a republican will get elected this fall — and by then, we’ll have probably pulled out of this bagel anyway.
And who better to lead the republican party and the nation during a financial crisis than the man who made a fortune making turnarounds for a living. Americans will be desperate for an aggressive economic policy, giving President Mitt Romney the Carte Blanche he needs to clean house in our federal government and give us our tax dollars back. Every percentage point that slips off the Dow is one more for Romney.
Lastly and sadly, Heath Ledger died yesterday from an apparent overdose. He was a certainly a gifted actor, but it wasn’t his death that shook me… it was the fact that he was less than 2 years older than me. Talk about making you feel mortal… Sadly, Ledger will now only be remembered for playing a gay cowboy, (who incidentally is one of the most tragic characters in all cinema) rather than for the great body of work he had yet inside of him. Perhaps it is that loss that we should grieve most of all.
