Can you believe this? WHITE EYEBROWS DIDN’T RECORD AND WATCH AMERICAN IDOL LAST NIGHT! What is this world coming to?

So I graciously agrees to substitute for W.E. Now, I know you aren’t excited about this, seeing how nearly no one replied to my last post, but it has to be done, and I think I am up to the challenge.

*knuckle cracking* Here we go!

First of all, I have to say, that there is becoming a major division in this competition this year. Most years, I say, yes, but they are all great singers. I guess that’s true of this year. They are all pretty good singers, but this year I have noticed that there are the PERFORMERS, the ones that seem like stars and then there are the rest of them. Then, there is Megan… AKAKAKAKKKK

1. Anoop – Anoop is one of those bottom rung-ers. He isn’t a horrible singer or anything. But he is boring. I am so sorry for that. He seems like the nicest of guys. But he can NEVER compete with the others for stage presence and showmanship. He just comes off as one of those sweet guys that you knew in college that you wanted to be friends with. Sorry Anoop. He should go very soon.

2. Megan – Talk about overstayed her welcome. Watching her is SO BORING. I truthfully don’t know what kept her in the competition this far. And WHO IS VOTING for her? She wasn’t even in the bottom 3 last week. I live only 10 miles from where Megan Joy is from, and there is NO hype for her here. No one is talking about her. No one I know vouches for her. It’s nothing like it was around here for David Archuleta. PLEASE PLEASE GO HOME TODAY. Your 10 note range is dried up.

3. Scott – Ok, so I admit that he’s not THE strongest singer. And I know that W.E. thinks he shouldn’t be in the competition. But as they are making clear this year, they are looking for someone interesting. Scott does it. He’s interesting. And this week was HIS week. He chose the right song, and sang it the right way. He was great. I thought his singing even sounded better than usual. I think he was great this week.

4. Alison – I didn’t like it. The judges gave her credit, but it was I thought, indulgent and copy cat. It was a dumb song choice in my opinion, and I didn’t like the outfit from the moment she walked on stage in the big group at the beginning of the night. The judges were hard on her outfit, which was sad because how much real control to the contestants have over what the stylist pick out for them? It was all dumb, and while I don’t see her as ready to go home, it was a bad week for her.

5. Danny – Danny has the life experience, the emotion and the personality to make any song believable, which I think is why he has been a front runner from the beginning. He also chooses songs that suit him and his voice which makes him great too. However, I am a little surprised, and I guess it’s admirable, that he hasn’t pulled the dead wife card yet. He hasn’t “dedicated” anything to her, or referred to his trial of losing his spouse at all. Maybe that’s a strategy for later, but I do believe that life experience makes him real and is a strength in his singing. He did great last night too.

6. Matt – Oh Matt, you want to be Alternative edgy man, while the judges see you as soulful, piano and blues man. It’s a problem. You aren’t living up to what the judges envision you. And while you’ve been declared by even picky-Simon to be a frontrunner, you are in the bottom 2 last week. I think there hasn’t been a moment when the audience drops their jaws for you, and to be honest, I don’t think a very alternative song is going to do it for you. As far as I understand, the AI audience is more a mainstream pop audience. Young girls will pick up the phone for Archie, but not for a late 20 something guy that sings the Fray. Though I think you’re good enough that the judges might sacrifice the ‘save’ on you.

7. Lil Rounds – Oh Lil. What happens to you when it’s song choice time? Where do you get your ideas? I figured that when this week came, if you picked a power song, if you picked a Celine song, you would have picked Power of Love or something you could make your own and blow everyone away. You might even be capable of Whitney. But again you chose a song, while good, that no one is blown away by.
It’s sad because this was the right year, in my opinion, for Lil to be in the top 10. She doesn’t have a Mandisa, nor a Melinda, nor a Jennifer Hudson to compete with. She is the only power female voice on the stage and she is memorable. So why the song choices? Oh heaven please help her, she is better than what she is doing. Oh yeah, and her daughter was so cute with Randy.

8. Adam – Sorry, but few, if ever, contestants in AI history can entertain like Adam. He is one of the few people that I have heard on AI that I can’t think of a missed note, ever. Also, he can sell anything. He could sell, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” if he had to. It doesn’t matter much what he does, he does it all the way, and sells us home. If he doesn’t win, it will be a shock, because he brings it that’s for sure. He was fabulous.

9. Kris – I love that song. I love it. But Kris made it his. He made it current. It was subtle changes, but it worked. It was emotive and believable. It was great. He’s in it too!

So here’s my break down.

Megan – BY FAR the worst singer on the stage
Anoop – sorry, while he can sing, he isn’t in the same league as everyone else. At All.

Middle Tier

Alison
Lil
Scott
Matt

Top tier

Danny
Kris
Adam

Let’s all hope the right people are in the bottom this week!

But unlike last time, W.E. isn’t even checking this time.  He’s on his honeymoon.  And not even W.E. is geeky enough to blog on his honeymoon.  I think….

W.E. made the FATAL mistake.  The mistake was not deleting me as a guest user after the first commandeering of whiteeyebrows.com during his October D.C. vacation.  But lets all face it, W.E. has been very distracted lately with his whole engagement and getting married thing, and you have to admit that his A.I. posts have been lackluster. 

So never fear!  I am here to solve all your problems and give my opinions to the evening of A.I.  I am so thoughtful and giving.  He didn’t even ask me to do this….

First I must say, with so many great songs to choose from, it must have been hard for the contestants to choose.  Some of the choices were good some of the choices were surprising.  Let’s get down to it….

1. Matt Giraud – Let’s Get It On.  What a choice!  A classic Motown song.  Matt is really great.  I think that he made a smart choice starting out at the piano then getting up.  I didn’t expect it, but he even had a couple of moves that were really surprising.  But it brought some intensity to the song which it kind of needs considering the material. 

2. Kris Allen – How Sweet It Is.  Kris has such a likeability.  He is one of those guys in high school that was just naturally cool.  I actually disagree with what Simon said, I think he stands there with such a confidence just being so cool with himself.  I think he mixed the song up enough as well.  OH yeah and did you notice that Paula is stepping up the intelligence of her comments.   TWO comments tonight where she tried to guess the highest note they hit, like she had perfect pitch or something.  BA HAHA HA  don’t knock yourself out laughing.

3.  Scott – You Can’t Hurry Love – I have always liked Scott.  I think that he is a person that reeks of hope.  I think that society can learn a lot from Scott.  You look at his composure and his (in)ability to stand there comfortably and you learn that the rest of us must spend a lot of time looking in the mirror training ourselves to look relaxed, cool and confident.  But I like his vulnerability.  I know that W.E. thinks his singing chops aren’t that great.  However I think his talent is LIGHT YEARS ahead of Megan.  Oh yeah and the coloring books were great.

4.  Megan.  PLEASE don’t vote for her.  Put her out of her misery.  I firmly believe that she is in it only because they needed more women, and they didn’t want a “boring” girl.  They wanted someone different.  But I think we have all had it with the 10 notes she can hit.  For heaven sakes, she “cawed”  after Rockin Robin.  She is um…. well, she needs to go home…. please.

5. Anoop – Oooo Baby Baby – They gave him way too much credit.  It wasn’t that good.  There were lots of notes that wavered off the pitch.  I am surprised he picked this song.  I am surprised the judges were so kind.  I was a little bored.  I won’t lie.

At this point, I have to say, I was really wondering, besides Matt, where was the magic of the top ten. 

6. Michael Sarver – Well, I don’t think it’s his turn to go home, but I don’t think he has that many weeks left.  Sure he’s interesting, and has a good backstory, but I think he’s running out of tricks in his bag o’ tricks!  Even though it was an upbeat song, I was bored.

7. Lil Rounds – The judges had this one right.  This was her MOMENT….. or rather it was supposed to be her moment.  Why wouldn’t she pick something with more soul with more… Cara said it right, more breathing room on the notes to show off to bring down the house.  She’s got the voice, just where is her moment? 

8.  Adam Lambert – Ok at this point.  I am not expecting anything special from anyone, cause if it didn’t come from Lil Rounds then who was going to bring it?  Um, little did I know, Adam had it all waiting for me.  HOLY COW.   I was mesmerized.  It was fabulous.  Can you truthfully believe that falsetto?  I think he was into soprano ranges.  I think W.E. would add a video of this one.

Crust, I can’t get it to work. And it’s almost midnight…. forget it go here if you want to see it.

Oh yeah, and I love the look.  He looked great.

9.  Danny Gokey – He is a huge front runner, so I figured they wouldn’t say anything bad.  Even though his performance was unimaginative boring and exactly copycat to the original.  Snoozer.

10.  Allison -  She surprised me.  She whipped it out.  She stayed with her personality and it was a fun performance.  I was a believer.  The judges say “you’re only 16″ to every young contestant, but I really can’t believe she’s 16.  She doesn’t seem that young, honestly. 

How’d ya like the mexi-stache on Paula.  Weird.  I think they are getting desperate to up ratings.

Ranks?

1. Adam

2. Allison

3.  Matt

4.  Kris

5.  Lil

6.  Danny

7.  Michael

8.  Scott

9.  Anoop

10.  Megan

Last night I dreamt that when we sold our other house and bought our new house, there was $22,000 that was never transferred to us, and so we had “bank error in our favor, $22K in our pockets”.  Boy was I sad when I woke up. 

I woke up to see Hubby packing his bag to head for California, again.  Yes, that’s where he was last week.  And then I remember that then end of this week is the (stupid) deer hunt and he’ll be gone for 4 days for that.  Then, I remembered that the next week he leaves for 1 week, 7 full days, and over the weekend for back east where he will pull all nighters get single digit hours of sleep for those 7 days and pull all kinds of heroics to ‘save the world’… I came downstairs to see the damage done by ‘keeping the sabbath day holy’.  I think they should call it instead ‘making mondays torture.’  so I was really loving life this morning.  Mondays…

Now, he’s gone to work, and I remembered, today is his actual birthday.  I didn’t even say happy birthday, or even sing to him.  What a great wife I am.  Now I have to call, tell him I am sorry.   Ok did it.  It’s all better now.

It’s still Monday though, back to real life, back to cooking, cleaning and chauffeuring.  It’s fun, but also crazy.

So happy birthday to my hubby and happy columbus day to all of you out there.  Instead of having a bad monday like my day started out, (but now is improving) do something exciting for Columbus day.  I don’t know what … how does a person celebrate Columbus Day?

We all know how W.E. would answer this question.  He would come up with all kinds of deep thoughts such as, the ticking of time, hope, faith, and gaining knowlege.

But I am talking about the real stuff.  Like Cheesecake.

Ok, really, I think that in my life, at least right now, I value two things most…. Great relationships and Great food.

This weekend, since Hubby and I didn’t get to go on vacation with W.E. like we had originally planned, my hubby gave me a mini vacation anyway.  His birthday is Monday so we did a Friday/Saturday date.  His sister (heaven sent) was nice enough to babysit for us for 30 long hours (for her… for me it was 30 short hours).

We decided just to indulge.  We ate the best steak and lobster I have ever had.  We added appetizers and dessert.  I didn’t use a coupon!  (This is the kind of place that doesn’t have coupons!  They have a dress code, and they offered me a black napkin instead of a white napkin so it would match my skirt I was wearing… they color coordinate your napkin!)  We dressed in our nicest, went to the symphony and though we stayed for free in the hotel, we used extra frequent stay points to upgrade to the best room in the Marriott.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory today for lunch.  We shared a meal so I could (try to) push out the mantra in my brain saying ’1200 calories per slice’ and ordered a big ol’ piece of cheesecake anyway.  And I enjoyed it.  And I enjoyed it again just a minute ago when I finished the leftovers.  We went to the football game and yelled and screamed and acted like we were 18 again.  We had fun.  I didn’t call and check on the kids once.  I knew they were in good hands and having fun, and I was right.

I ENJOYED my husband.  We didn’t talk about the kids.  We talked about our dating years, our wedding day, our hopes and our disappointments.  We talked about the future and we talked about how lucky (blessed) we are.  We held hands and walked together.  We laughed a lot.  We relaxed.  It was short, but I am rejuvenated.  Love and food, the best things in the world.

What makes your life worth living?

P.S.  Can’t wait for the next awesome time of food and relationships/family!  THANKSGIVING !!! I am so excited!  Can I get a WOOT WOOT! (At least from you FavCuz)

P.P.S.  Again, not to be judged wrongly, I am not advocating, living beyond your means, or having a splurgy-get-anything-you-want-now attitude in these tough economic times. (I clip coupons, and cut my husbands, and usually my daughters’ hair myself… I am not always a spoiled rotten brat)  Just opening discussion of the occasional indulgences of life, that make life fun!

I had just got back from a horrible WalMart excursion with K and S.  After the fits they threw I decided they were tired and needed naps.  K was at the age where she was starting to outgrow naps, but would take them sometimes.  S was taking a nap but come to find out K wasn’t. I heard her in there, but I thought, ‘No I am not letting her out. I need a 1/2 hour break from her.’   Well that was a huge mistake. Apparently she was in there needing go number 2.  She knows that it’s not an option to come out during bedtime/naptime (except to go potty) but I guess she decided to show me who is really boss.   When I went to get her out of her room to go pick up E and J at school, I found streaks and residue of the um, number 2, (I don’t know how delicate and sensitive the readers of W.E. are… normally I would just say the word poop.) on the bed.  I took K to the bathroom into the tub. I put her clothes in laundry; she had attempted to clean herself up and look very innocent.  But there was plenty of residue there too.   Then, seeing the mess from her pants and the wipes that she had used and then thrown on the floor to clean herself up, I knew that somewhere the bulk of the ‘problem’ was not to be seen.  So I looked, I couldn’t find it, so I asked K where it was. She got out of tub, crawled all the way under her bed and pointed in the heating vent. I moved the bed and looked in the vent.  Sure enough, K had put the ‘treasure’ in the vent.  So I had to clean out the vent. Wash the bedding, and clothes, and clean up the culprit.  Joy oh joy.  Where do they come up with these things!!????

I think kids are pretty darn hilarious.

But no one ever wants to relate the hard fast truth.

Here’s what I mean…

Many of you have seen the seriously so blessed blog.  http://www.seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/ It is hilarious.  It’s a woman that writes a completely MADE UP blog spoofing bloggers, specifically young married, pregnant LDS girls/women bloggers.  But the thing I love about it, is that it spoofs the thing I find a little bit annoying about MOST blogs.  The writers filter out all the ‘real’ life stuff and write only how PERFECT his/her life is, never admitting that everyone has problems no matter how perfect you are.  In the SeriouslySoBlessed blog, the “writer” TAMN is perfectly skinny, perfectly fun, and hates anything that’s a ‘downer’.

I guess I am wierd. I am not sure why, if it was because of innate demeanor or growing up experiences, but I turned out to be a very realistic person.

I distinctly remember being about 10 years old, coming out of church and saying to my mom, “Mom, you know what I have noticed about life?’

Mom said “what?”

“When you’re sick, before you can get better, you have to get sicker first.”  I finished.

“Wow, that’s positive”  She replied , yes sarcasticly

(I married a huge optimist BTW, we balance each other out … most of the time)

I try hard not to be negative, but I feel I am pretty realistic.  And hey, I have to say, that No ONE has a perfect life.  I am sorry, no one does.  I just think that some people have much more obvious trials or problems than other people.

For the past 7 years we have lived in what people term the “KEN AND BARBIE WARD”.  People that move in, or visit declare that this is the Ken and Barbie ward.  Everyone has perfect bodies, perfect smiles, perfect testimonies, and perfect lives.   And actually on paper, our area does look much more ideal that most.  We have incredible reported ‘numbers’.  This stake reports extremely high percentage of temple recommend holders, full tithe payers, people doing their home/visiting teaching.  etc.   However, I came to know these people well, they had and have trials just like everyone else.  Unemployment, illness, cancer, marital strife, problems with children effected most everyone.  We had 3 women that had fought cancer, 2 very recent divorces, 2 women fighting MS, only 1/4 of our eligible Young Men were worthy to serve missions.  Real life, just happens.

So I think that people are just keeping secrets.  Trying to paint themselves int he best light possible.  We all do it, we all want to look perfectly ideal.  We all want to talk about ourselves, but no one want to relate the cold, hard truth.

So here we are ready to hear YOUR secrets.  What are you REALLY like?  In 40 words or less.

Ok, and sorry this is probably major birth control for all you childless people out there.

Background: I have four daughters.

E is 9,   J is 7,   K is 3,    and   S is 2.

They all have their own personalities, but K has been the most crazy of our kids so far. She is tiny weighing the exact same amount as S.

I am not using this as a bragging notation, but as an explanation on this kid’s energy level: she crawled at 4 months, pulled herself up to furniture and walked around it at 6 months, walked by 9. She didn’t sleep a full night until she was about 3. She had had 2 surgeries for her constant ear/sinus/eye infections by the time she was 15 months. This kid kicked my buns as a mom.

2^nd background info: Hubby is a workaholic and travels a lot for work.

3^rd background info: PTA as a “Reflections” contest at the school where kids can enter their “artistic creations” and get awards. Our oldest, E, is a great story writer, so I forced her (kicking and screaming) to enter the contest. She won at the school level and was going to get an award at the regional level. We got a call to come to the awards ceremony. Hubby was out of town. Here’s the story I wrote the night after the ceremony.

This was last year E is 8, J is 6, K is 2 and a half, and S is 1.

Tonight we went to E’s award thing. We wanted to get there early so we could get a good seat, and so we could call Hubby, so we could see about arranging him being able to hear the award thing over the phone from DC. So we all got ready to go. E was supposed to dress up, I told her to go in her room to change, when the kids all came out to the car, I noticed that J and K decided to change and wear a dress too.

So we all got in the car and drove there. We got in the high school auditorium. K had to go potty. E and J saved our seats and K and S and I go to the potty. On the way Hubby called. K got onto the potty and she accidentally leaned back on the potty a bit. and so the pee shot out of the toilet instead of down in the potty. I tell Hubby I’ll call him back. So I cleaned up the mess that got on her dress and the floor. Then I can’t find her panties. I realize that is because she had taken them off with her pants when she changed at home and forgot to put them back on. She had been going commando in a dress. I give her a lecture about how she CANNOT let anyone see her bottom etc etc etc.

Then we walked back to the auditorium. It’s really starting to fill up. Then she announces in a loud voice she needs to go potty. I say “you just went potty.” She YELLS, “But not poop!” Everyone looks at me. I take her out. She stops at the door puts her arms out wide and yells, “No go back!” I say “aren’t we going to the potty?” She says she going is alone. So I have to “trail” her from afar so she doesn’t know I am following her. (she’s only 2!) I stand outside the bathroom. She comes out. Hopefully she went. I notice her sash on her dress is all wet so I guess that went in the pot too.

So we get back to auditorium. K starts asking for a drink. I take her out; now there are TONS of people showing up. I chase her down and bring her back to the water fountain. Hubby calls again. I try to talk to him and lift K for a drink while holding S. Finally she gets 2 sips of water. E and J have come looking for me. We all go back in.

I tell K we are done leaving that the “show” is going to start so we can’t go. K starts announcing that she wants Juice and she wants to go home. I tell her we will go when it’s over. She starts screaming, “It’s over now mom! It’s over!” I just tell her to shhh. Even E is saying “Shhh! K this is embarrassing.” She flips her legs up and I am quickly reminded that she is commando. I grab a diaper (for S) from my purse and slip it discreetly under her dress to put it on her to cover the nakedness. The stupid velcro strap breaks. I am getting frustrated. S is starting to throw fits. I grab a second diaper and put it on Ky. S is now unloading my purse onto the floor. I pick her up and give her a bottle. It’s the only time ever she hates bottles and she is throwing it on the floor, and arching her back, and freaking out. K starts saying she wants to leave again. I look at my watch and grumble to myself that they are now 10 minutes late starting.

Principal finally starts — rambles on and on about boring crap. Hubby has asked me to call him when it looks like they are announcing her category so he can hear over the phone. Principal is rambling, S is fighting and whining and K is turned around in her seat talking the rest of the audience. Finally, the principal, who has been droning on and on in super slow motion about the school and himself, turns into turbo speaker. He says as quickly as humanly possible. “OK let’s start, first category literature (I grab the phone and press talk to call Hubby) from Freestone Elementary E.”

I grab S from flipping off my lap. Reach in pocket to get out camera. When I get camera out and put it up, I realize that E is standing right by me. In that amount of time, E has walked up there, accepted the trophy and come back to our seats. The moment is over. I look at my phone “Dialing Hubby” it says. That’s it, we missed it all. I missed it, I didn’t get a picture, Hubby didn’t get to hear it over the phone. So I sit there wondering what to do now. They had said at the beginning please stay for the whole thing. There are refreshments.

I am trying to grab the stuff S dumped out of my purse ( I am telling myself over and over. I am done having kids… I am done having kids…) All the sudden I look up and K is RUNNING up to the front of the stage to walk up the stairs where she just saw E come from. She has decided she needs to receive an award. I forget the bag and run up to the stage. I grab K just before she ascends the stairs. (of course during every second of this entire story I have S in my other arm remember — or she will be off too) I have both kids in each arm. Kyla is screaming. “no mom no!” Now, EVERYONE in the entire auditorium is looking at me. I get to my chair lean over to E and say WE ARE LEAVING NOW. “NOW?” She whispers back. “NOW” I whisper. “Tell J.” J is enthralled with the awards things. She won’t listen. E yanks on her. “J we are leaving” J finally looks at me. I say “you guys get the coats.” I have both little kids and my purse, my phone and my camera and I bolt to the door. As I move, I kick S’s bottle in the aisle. So I lean over grab that too and bolt again for the door. At the door I check to make sure the big girls followed me. They did .. good. In the hallway, E grabs her story that’s been on display. We get outta there. Boy was I glad to be back in that car!

Hubby calls I have to ask for his forgiveness for not getting him on the phone fast enough.

But now, what will we all do?  Now that our W.E. is gone? 

AH HA HA HA (evil cackle) !!!

Don’t worry, folks, TLS is on the case! I have commandeered whiteeybrows.com, and W.E. himself doesn’t even know it.  He will probably discover this when his desperate search for a Starbucks with free Wireless Internet becomes fruitful.   (Because he is with Tio on this trip and we all know that Tio is too cheap to pay the $15 a day for in room internet.  (Sorry, Tio, jabs come naturally sometimes.) )

Just you wait Henry Higgins…. Just you wait

(Oh yeah, you may want to reply to this post, saying how excited you are about my guest blogging, so that W.E. doesn’t delete my username and login when he sees this )

I have been reading up on the conventions as much as I can here and there, but it really isn’t much. I know nothing really, but I do have to say, that when I do, and particularly when it comes to Bill and Hillary, I feel like I am back in high school.

It’s odd to me. I honestly can’t believe that this “blessed” country, — settled almost solely by people that were looking to live MORE piously, and more god fearing, the place where we straight laced LDS people believe is the “promised land”, and where we are told if we are righteous we will prosper in the land — that we elected, tolerated, and now revere people such as Bill and Hillary Clinton.

I think that it’s like high school. I mean really, we all went to a high school where the student elections were a joke. The popular, cute, fun kids were always the ones elected. It was never the smartest kids, it was never the most genuine kids and it was NEVER the person that would really do the best job. It was all a status symbol, a joke.

You know the speech every stupid popular kid that was a shoe-in for prez ever gave… “I promise to get the best pop in the pop machine, and the best candy in the candy machine, and I promise that Senior Prom will ROCK this year!!!!” WAHOO!!!!

(This is why we LOVE the movie Napoleon Dynamite BTW)

This is how the general elections are starting to turn in the U.S. We look for the ones that can make the U.S. the coolest. “I promise to give you free health care, free preschools, free retirement and you don’t have to do anything at all! I promise to make you never have to be uncomfortable, never have to defend your freedoms, or save your money. I will make all hard work and difficulty disappear, I will give you free lunch and free everything!”

And then you get the cool, cute and popular kids of the U.S. (AKA every movie/TV/music star making over 1 million dollars a year) saying, “Yeah, they’re right, vote for them!” And they make music videos, and star in commercials to vote for their president that is going to take away hard work and anything uncomfortable for everyone in the U.S. of A.

I hate to tell you people, but no matter who the president is, there is going to be good times and bad times. There is going to be international, terrorist and security risks. There is, sadly, going to be homeless people and hungry children. There will be abuse and neglect and harm to children. There’s going to be boons in the economy, there’s going to be lags. We as individuals can do things to help those situations. For instance, we can do everything in our power to prevent abuse, we can help pick up the pieces for people that have gone through awful, terrible things that life brings. But no president is going to solve everything. Not even if that person is being endorsed by Angelina Jolie. That’s the real world.

This all may sound very sad, but it actually is good if you ask me. That means that we DON’T have to elect the cool, popular kid anymore. Unlike high school, we can actually research all the angles and elect the kid that will really actually do the BEST JOB. Pick someone that you feel is smart enough, moral enough, tough enough, and the best person for the job. It’s not a popularity contest. Believe it or not.

PS. And I have to say that while I was very much on the fence, and unhappy with either ticket, now that the Republican VP nominee is a woman, I am excitedly voting republican just to have someone else break the glass ceiling other than Hillary. I am sick of her taking all the credit. J — oh yeah, and out of the 2 choice, I think that McCain MIGHT be the better person for the job. J I sound like the Bitter “uncool” kid speaking. But, for the record, I actually had lots of friends in high school and was somewhat cool myself.

Please don’t get me wrong.  It is not that I am cheap (contrary to what W.E. may think).  I often tip waiters at least 20 percent if there service is above and beyond and they are attentive to my needs.  I just don’t understand why I should tip the little asian girl who spoons in my two items along with my fried rice and lo-mein noodles into the little styrofoam tray.   I think I actually take more steps than her as i walk back and forth in front of the glass covered steam table trying to decide what my two items will be.  We then walk together to the register where I pay and she puts the container in a plastic bag with a big red smiley face on it.  If I beg and smile she will put two soy sauce packets in the bag with a napkin and plastic fork but I don’t think she is really happy about it.  What can I say?  One packet is not enough to bring the fried rice back to life.  But I digress.  There, in front of the register, is a tip jar. I just don’t see what service has been rendered that warrants a tip.

Now I am not a coffee drinker, but I hear that a similar situation crops up at Starbucks.  People pay four dollars for a cup of coffee, one that they must first wait in line to order at a counter, pay for at the counter and pick up at the counter. Perhaps the tip is to ensure that you get a paper sleeve on your cup  so you don’t burn your hand?  If you don’t tip, then the next time you don’t get one and you run the risk of a first degree burn.

Now there are people I will always tip.  For example I would never dream of not tipping a sky cap.  I definitely want my luggage getting checked in on the plane.  That is worth the price of a nice tip.
Second I will gladly reward any server who makes sure my food is brought promptly while it is still hot and made properly as I ordered it.  I am a heavy beverage drinker when I eat so it is not unusual for my water glass to be refilled 5 to 14 times during a meal.  If they skimp on keeping me well hydrated, the tip starts to dry out.  I also always tip my barber.  Yes I go to a barber and not a hair stylist. There is a difference.   This is someone I plan on having a long term relationship, and I want him to know of the appreciation I have for him taking the time to make me look just so.  He also goes the extra mile to trim my eyebrows, which I have discovered that after you hit middle age start to take on a mind of their own and need regular attention to keep them from taking over your face.  Once again I digress.

Lastly there are some people out there who take tips that I never knew expected them.  A few months ago I went the the massage therapist and was waiting for my appointment when the therapist came out with her last client.  I saw this client tip the therapist.  I thought “Am I supposed to tip a massage therapist now?”   Massage therapists describe themselves as health care providers.   I think that is why they believe they can charge 65 dollars for 50 minutes of work after completing a 6 month course at a drive by school in a strip mall.  Do you tip your doctor?  Do you tip your dentist?  Do you tip the phlebotimist after they draw your blood? (I may want to consider this so they use a smaller needle.)   So why would you tip your massage therapist?  I say you can not have it both ways.  Either you are a health care provider or you are a pleasure provider.  As a health care provider myself, I would never expect a tip – let alone accept one.

I appreciate this is a long read.  I congratulate you for making it this far.  Does anyone know what the proper etiquette is for tipping?  Who am I not tipping that I should?  The illegal alien who delivers my paper but can’t seem to keep it out of the sprinkler?  What about the sanitation worker who empties my trash can with out leaving the truck.  Should I tip the person who checks me out at Home Depot?  Oh wait that is me since I have to do that myself now.   As W.E. says I am just turning in to an angry middle aged man, but it seems to me that people are now doing less and expecting more in return.  Whatever happened to just taking pride in a job well done?

Oh one more thing.  If you enjoyed this blog tips are accepted.

(Editor’s Note: You’ll notice that this is Tio’s first guest post.  I want to congratulate him in advance for such an awesome post!!!  The W.E. readers will now start expecting… nay… demanding regulars from you, Tio!)

Hope you have a nice birthday and a fun day.

Memories for enjoying… Declaring when you grow up you are going to be an elephant, singing in the bathroom, commentating family basketball games, being first mate on the boat, bleaching/dying your red hair with jello and koolaid packets, you reading scripture after scripture to us at Sunday dinner, always being the favorite of the primary song leader.. so much so you had a debut at 4 years old as the sacrament meeting chorister cause the ward thought it was so cute. Hanging up on me when I called from the school to ask mom if I could play with a friend after school. Fracturing your arm falling off a bar 4 feet from the ground. How’s that start… You are one in a million White Eyebrows!

Sis

I think we all experience irony in life. In fact, I have heard it said (as you probably have too) that most of what we worry about never actually happens. It’s those things that never occur to us that actually become our trials and difficulties in life. I have decided this is true, even if only in our perceptions. (which is a whole other post)

Why is it that some people that always dreamed of marriage and family, remain perpetually single? Why is it that women that wanted 10 children struggle with infertility? Why is it that some men bent on making 6 figures a year by 30 can’t seem to graduate from college?

Is everything ironic? Absolutely not. Things have worked out perfectly for me and you many times in life. We just don’t think about those things as much as the ironic ones.

But for me, my worries especially have a tendency to be ironic. Here are a bunch of examples.

• When we were engaged, my husband and I got in a discussion one day…. I thought that marriage was going to be the biggest change of my life. I was worried about the change from single-hood to married life. However, it wasn’t a big deal at all. We feel into married life naturally and easily. Ironically, I wasn’t that nervous about the change of having our first child. I thought it would be great when that change came. However, that was a WAY harder change than marriage was… by far.
• We were cut off from all our friends in a really weird ward split 2 years ago. I prayed at that time that I would feel liked and included in the new ward. Not much later, we began to have horrible problems with an immediate neighbor. These problems have gone on to personal, character attacks of my husband and I, death threats, threats of law suits, harassment, the list goes on and on. Our religious leaders have tried to help to no avail, and so our ward has only rallied around and felt sorry for our insane neighbors. Ironic that my foremost hope and prayer — to feel included — was answered by further problems, and people only caring and trying to help out the abuser, rather than the abused.
• Right now, my husband and I are really praying, carefully considering, mulling and worrying over a daughter of ours. We are trying to decide whether or not she should skip 2^nd grade next year and go straight from 1^st to 3^rd. We are weighing pros and cons, having slightly heated conversations about her missing junior prom someday, and trying to make the right decision for everyone involved. Ironically, of all my children, I got pregnant with her the easiest of them all. Because of that, I worried that it was too easy and something was going to be horribly wrong with her. I had times during my pregnancy that I was almost convinced that she was going to be handicapped, or mentally deficient in some way. I don’t know why. But last week, I was driving home one day thinking about what to do about our daughter skipping 2^nd grade and had a sudden flashback to being pregnant with that same child and worried sick that she was going to be truly handicapped. Yet she is brilliant. Funny. What a waste of energy that was.

Well, there is more, but this post is getting too long… What ironies have you had in life? We all have them. For W.E. , it’s working in a cubicle, worried about eyestrain and carpal tunnel, when he thought he’d be at the theater. What are yours? We may laugh about them now. We may want to cry just thinking about them. But we have weird, ironic things in life. Do tell…..

“Patience is a virtue”. You’ve heard that phrase before right? So have I. I think I must have been born a very impatient person. I remember being told a lot as a child to “be patient”. I guess part of that is being an oldest child. You have to wait for the smaller legs and younger siblings in many things. But I remember also having to be patient about so much. It seems like back then everything took SO long. The bus ride to and from school was 50 minutes each way. The nearest grocery store? an hour drive – through a windy canyon and I was very prone to car sickness. (yes I have many memories of throwing up in the car.) I remember sitting in IFA stores for what seemed like hours while dad talked to …..someone. Then, the long drive home… hot, tired and thirsty… and so hungry. I know I must have been so hungry because we would always pass McDonalds and I would just LONG to stop and have a happy meal. (The answer to that was always “no”.) And nowadays I absolutely abhor fast food. So I must have been very very hungry. Everything in life was slow and required so much patience.

I met my husband when were both 17 (actually he hadn’t quite turned 17 yet, he’s 3 months younger than I) . We didn’t marry until we were 21. It was just 4 months short of 5 years that we had known each other before we got married. A veritable eternity for an LDS/BYU couple. My husband went on his mission and I got to wait and go to school. I have to say, I did date a fair amount while he was gone, but no one compared to him and so I waited. patiently.

I waited for my own college graduation, I waited for my husband’s graduation. I have waited through four 9-month pregnancies to have 4 wonderful kids. (If anyone tells you that being pregnant is for the impatient then they are smoking something, or they are a man.)

So among these facts and many many others, I feel like I should have learned patience. I should be like Job as far as patience is concerned and yet, I am not.

I HATE IT. I hate having to be patient! I don’t belive that patience is a virtue one little bit. Why CAN’T things happen right now! Right away. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! What ever happened to that?!

Right now we are selling our house and the market STINKS to high heaven! And so you have to wish and hope and pray and make the stars align in perfect sequence, and be under the right sign of the zodiac and the chinese calendar year, rub a buddahs tummy and throw salt over your shoulder to get someone to come look at your house and then you hold your breath that it will sell. Now, I am losing patience with it all. Because it took me a long time, and a lot of the insane neighbor ticking us both off, to get my husband to agree to moving . And so now we are OVER ANXIOUS to get the house sold. And so I am tired of waiting. It’s been about 4 weeks now. I want to house to sell.

So I guess I want everyone else’s answers. Why are we asked to be patient? Why can’t things just happen? The world would be so much more efficient if things just happened and we didn’t have to wait all the time.

I can curse science for entropy existing but it isn’t it’s fault. I can curse mother nature for entropy exisiting, but actually life exists in opposition to entropy. And entropy (and equilibrium) actually occurs exactly at death. So technically it isn’t her fault. I can curse Adam for partaking of the tree in the garden of eden because at that point the ground was cursed and only by the sweat of our brows can we eat our bread… (I paraphrase) thus Adam brought upon us a state of entropy so that we would have to work all our lives.

However, I then think about those days when you are really sick for a couple of days and you sit around in bed and do nothing all day and how rotten you feel. Not just physically but emotionally. I don’t think we were made for sitting around. I also have wondered “What WOULD I do if there wasn’t so much work to do?” I would be like those sick days where I just sit around and feel yucko and depressed. Then I remember how great it feels to have worked really hard. To have cleaned the entire house in one day and EVERYTHING for one milisecond (remember I have 4 kids under the age of is clean and perfect. I also think of how great it feels to have just had a really hard, really heart-pounding exercise session. When I work hard it feels GREAT! (almost always AFTER the fact — not so much DURING it)

Life has gotten easier in times past (if you have forgotten that time to read or tune into Little House on the Prairie) and I guess we don’t work as hard as our predecessors did. As I do my 3rd load of laundry (yes PER DAY , my 3 year old changes 4 times per day) I wonder how those pioneer women did it at the river. (Okay granted they didn’t have more than 2 pairs of clothes back then.) But hey they did have like 10 children.

I guess I am saying I am glad I have so much junk to do around here. Grateful that my kids make big messes and I get to clean them up. Happy that i have the health and ability to do all that I have to do. I have to tell myself this because the 16 month old is entering the mischevious age and is killing me with the toilet paper all over the floor, emptying my purse and every single card in there onto the floor. scrubbing the toilet with a toothbrush, writing on walls, etc etc age. Okay I can do this.

Gotta run and paint the basement bedroom!

Lately, though, there has been something that has been driving me nuts about teenagers.  It’s the “EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME!”  phase.  I am sure that all teenagers, even boys, go through this to some degree or another.  They are all so paranoid that someone is looking at them all the time.  They can’t stand in front of a group of people with out feeling self conscience, uncomfortable and awkward.  Many of them even forget completely what they were going to say. And hurry to sit down. Or worse…

Once when I was a teenager, about 14 probably, one young man, about my age, got up to give a talk in front of the ward.  Only about 50 people were there.  He got about 2 sentences into his talk and froze.  He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move.  He just stood there looking horrified.  All the sudden, just as the people sitting behind him began to get concerned and began to move to stand up to tell him “It’s okay, we’ll try another time.”  He fell over.  KERPLOP!  Right on the floor in front of everyone.  He was fine.  Just a short faint that he woke right up from. But I remember being amazed at his incredible stage fright.

I guess fear of people and their judgments of us is very common.  And very understandable.  For heaven sakes, even adults get stage fright.  We all may fumble for the right words and feel self conscience in front of a group.  So I guess that’s human nature to want to put your best foot forward.

However, it’s this same group of girls — that would rather eat worms than have someone look at them–  are the exact same girls that are constantly vying for attention over any given matter.  If it’s about boys it’s a competition about who has more boyfriends.  If it’s in FRONT of the boys.  They are all talking over each other to get the boy’s attention.  If it’s about grades, they vie for who made the best grades.  If it’s about friends it’s about who has the most friends, is the most popular, or has the closest friends.  If it’s during a lesson it’s the greatest thing to be chosen to read for the teacher, to stand up and write on the chalkboard, or to be the focus of a game to play.  I am amazed at human nature.  We all want to be noticed, loved, appreciated and special, but yet no one wants to step up, lead out, speak alone, or be focused on.  Why is that?

I originally didn’t intend to turn this political, but ’tis the season.  I guess that is why (and this is unbiased by WhiteEyebrows opinion of him) I like Mitt Romney so much.  He is not afraid to put himself out there and say I am willing to put myself in the public eye, be derided because of my past, present and future.  Be ripped apart because of my religion.  And he’s willing to say I want to be in office for the common good.  Politics is like that. I had someone say to me not long ago that they didn’t want Romney to run or win becasue they were worried about what people will say about the church.  They were worried about having to hear their religion bashed.  I recount with this…

I read in the BYU magazine a couple of months ago  related to this.  It was talking about being politically active.  The article was saying that we shouldn’t be scared to pick someone for office.  Too many people and members of the church take the “official church position”  (including my husband to some degree) to not take a side.  They figure since no one’s perfect and it would just be picking between the “lesser of 2 evils”  then they shouldn’t get behind a candidate at all.  Perhaps, not even vote.  The article pointed out that SOMEONE has to fill the spot. And SOMEONE is going to win the election so we shouldn’t be afraid to be involved and be active in seeking out and even promoting or campaign actively for the best choice.  If we are AFRAID of what people will say about our religion then maybe we don’t know enough about it, or believe it enough. We need to step up, step out of our comfort zone, and ‘let our light shine’ .  We must not be afraid of what others will think or say, as long as we are right with ourselves and our value system we can stand, lead, and be confident.  And stop worrying that everyone is looking at us!