WhiteEyebrows

This poem leaves the nastiest taste in my mouth… you can just taste the mediocrity… and it tastes bad.

Continue reading “Pretty Good”

On my recent vacation, I took the opportunity to visit my brother at his place of employment: the full service meat counter of a grocery store chain.  They take great pride in their meats, and boy did he have some interesting stories and perspectives that I felt that we all should know for our own enlightenment and understanding, so we can become more courteous shoppers:

Continue reading “When Buying Meat…”

So last night I worked a miracle… I know, I know, you’re not supposed to cast your pearls before swine, but this one is just too good not to blog about.

Yesterday I mentioned that I will be leaving for vacation.  Well, last night when I was packing I got this wild, hair-brained idea… Could I — just could I — pack everything into one carry on?  Business travelers do it all of the time, so why can’t I?  If I am ever to travel for business, I’ll need to master this art anyway…

Continue reading “Ten Days in 45 Linear Inches”

Well, the title says it all for this one… Today I’ll be extolling the awkwardness that ensues when you run across those ’special’ individuals who are tragically smitten with this deadly combination of personality traits.  Yes friends, I’m talking about when, in a single individual, those two mighty forces of “I say stupid things” and “I can’t manage to keep my mouth shut” join forces to create the most awkward social situations. I call this affliction “StupidMouth”.

Continue reading “The Tragic Combination of “Stupid” and “Loudmouth””

The Lovely Sister spoke an eternal truth yesterday that I felt deserved some graphic representation.

Validation: Everyone wants it.  Carry around your rubber stamp and give it often.

So as my brother and I were sitting with my sister last night and we were discussing, among other things, my level of coolness.  For more information about this, please refer here.

Continue reading “MC Hammer is Cool”

I guess I’m not a “pet” person.

We used to beg my mom for pets. She was always adamantly anti-pet, so we were raised without very many pets and without great sympathy for animals either. In spite of that early programming, one of my brothers in particular tried endlessly to get mom to agree to various pets. Only one type was a non-starter: cats. Mom was allergic (turns out, so am I).

Continue reading “Humans Come First”