WhiteEyebrows

Frequenters of the WhiteEyebrows Blog may have noticed that, a few weeks ago, some nifty Google Ads started to creep up on my site.  This was not a result of Google’s merciless monopolization and commoditization of each and every corner of the inter-web, as you might be thinking…. This is an example of my own merciless commoditization of every corner of my life…

How else am I going to retire by the time I’m 40?  It actually all goes back to the Snow Cone Stand, really… but that’s another blog.  I hope YFC will one day write a guest blog about it… Continue reading “Google AdWords Sucks!”

A few days ago, I was engaging in a new sport that my older brother introduced me to: personal ad perusal.

Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain this sport… it’s not that you peruse the personal ads to actually find someone to date.  You peruse the personal ads to:

1. see if you know anyone in there (this works super well in smaller cities like we’re from)
2. to laugh at the desperate people when you see how many different ways they can come up with to say “I’m not attractive, but super fun to hang around with”

Now back to our regularly scheduled blog… I was participating in this sport when I ran across the phrase “I’m 420 friendly.”  Not knowing what this meant, I turned directly to the font of all knowledge and truth: Google.

Come to find out, “420″ is a numerical euphemism for marajuana use.

Continue reading “I’m 420 Unfriendly”

I have decided that I need to participate in more posting of useless information about myself.  Of this week’s posts, the one with the most views, most comments, and most enjoyment was the one where I (against my will) wrote random stuff about myself that most of you already knew.

But, alas, you’d rather hear me make up stuff about myself to sound interesting rather than pontificate on other extremely weighty, philosophical matters.  (Good on you, I would too… some of my posts go way overboard and are far too long…)

So here goes “tagging” exercise #2.  This one sounds fun, cause it involves you…

1. Leave, as a comment to this post, one memory you have of me.
2. It doesn’t matter if you know me a little or a lot, you must comment.  I am not posting another thing until there are an obscene number of comments on this post.
3. If you don’t know me at all, make something up.  Creativity counts.  I make up half the stuff I put on this blog anyway, so why should you be bound by honesty? (extra points if you can fool others into believing that your fake memory was actually real)
4. Don’t post anything you wouldn’t say to my face, or to my mother’s face, cause both faces will eventually read your comments…

Good luck!

I swore I would never do these little things where people “tag” you on their blog.  But when Annike tagged me, I figured, what the heck.  I can cave to peer pressure just as good as the other guy…

So here it is… the lame getting to know random things about a person in short sentences…

Continue reading “I Promised Myself I’d Never Do This…”

In case you haven’t heard the news, there has been another fatal school shooting, this time at Northern Illinois University, outside of Chicago.

From what I could gather from the news brief, the gunman entered from a door on the lecture hall stage and opened fire facing the crowd.  Six people were killed.

Which leads me to ask this question: why???  Why do these people enter our temples of learning, and do such senseless violence?  Why prey on the innocent young people, whose lives are just beginning?

The fact that schools have become the madman suicide shooter’s location of choice just triples the tragedy for me.  Our universities represent one of the pinnacles of our modern society. We put great resources and importance to the development of our minds and the enhancement of our societal understanding.  Our schools represent the ultimate in openness and freedom of thought.

Then someone goes in and shoots up the place, contrary to the very foundation and idea of the university.  Suddenly a place of openness and freedom turns into a place of terror and distrust.

It’s hard to make sense of it all.

Recently I received a very interesting letter in the mail:

I am the first 26 year old to be admitted to the Association for the Advancement of Retired People!!!

At first I was a little insulted… I mean, how could they get my birthdate wrong by over 40 years! Then I realized, wait… maybe this isn’t so bad after all:

1. I can notify the Social Security office of my new age, and start receiving benefits.
2. I can sleep in late or go to bed early without anyone thinking I was lazy.
3. I can get a discount on pretty much everything anywhere I go.
4. I can get special benefits on special days of the week.
5. I can compete in athletic events in the Senior division and smoke my competition.
6. I can be ornery about cold french fries, complain about local politics and exacerbate neighborhood issues.
7. I can play games like bridge, backgammon, shuffleboard, and bingo without having to look sporty or ultra competitive.
8. I can skip children and go straight to grandchildren.
9. I can get me a sweet part time job for some “mad money” I can use to cruise the ‘vard and pick up chicks.
10. I can go on Letterman as the youngest old guy in America!

Yes. I could get used to this life! AARP will have no clue what hit ‘em!