A Proposal

I’d like to propose a change in our country’s social security system.

The way I see it, generationally speaking, families are having fewer and fewer children with each passing generation. My grandparents had 11 kids. My parents had 5. I will be lucky if I even get a mickey mouse handful*

At the same time, we’re not sure we are going to have enough money and labor in our system to pay for the children of the baby boomers who are now entering our social security and medicare systems.

My solution is the following:

Put the married, under 35 year olds all on Social Security. Pay them a decent living wage just to stay at home and make babies, raising a large next generation. Make all the 62 year olds through the totally decrepit go back to work.

This way, we young people have all the liberty, time, and resources to reproduce that we need, and we get some economic value out of all those old farts milking the system for all it’s worth.

Whaddya think, Ethel?

* for the record, mickey mouse has 3 fingers and a thumb.