Well, the title says it all for this one… Today I’ll be extolling the awkwardness that ensues when you run across those ‘special’ individuals who are tragically smitten with this deadly combination of personality traits. Yes friends, I’m talking about when, in a single individual, those two mighty forces of “I say stupid things” and “I can’t manage to keep my mouth shut” join forces to create the most awkward social situations. I call this affliction “StupidMouth”.
Maybe someone who is more in tune with British customs can tell me why Nigel offered the audience “Soup and Blankets” tonight. I thought it was hilarious, but I totally didn’t get it.
As most boys do, we enjoyed a little rough-housing with my dad when we were little. The rough housing endgame was usually one of three torture mechanisms:
- The Whose-Gow, where your head gets clamped in between Dad’s legs.
- The Nevada Torture, where Dad pins your arms down with his knees while poking his finger into your chest.
- Whisker Pie, where Dad rubbed the stubble from his face all over you like sand paper.
We knew that if Dad could get us into one of these positions, the fight was over and we would have to yield, so our main goal was to stay out of the Whose-Gow, Nevada Torture, or Whisker Pie.
Well, I feel like the universe currently has me in all three of these at the same time… And what am I referring to?
The Lovely Sister spoke an eternal truth yesterday that I felt deserved some graphic representation.
Validation: Everyone wants it. Carry around your rubber stamp and give it often.
Sorry for no post last week on the top 20, but I think they got the kick off right on! I will certainly not miss the two they kicked off.
As for last night? I just have one letter to send to Mary…
Dear Mary Murphy,
Where exactly is the “Tra la la place in [your] heart?”
So I’m visiting my nieces today, and just casually announce that I’d be interested in hearing a piano recital while I am here… And what song do they break out???
Having been interested in the entertainment industry for most of my teenage and adult life, I have watched more than a healthy dose of Awards shows. Let’s face it, there’s nothing quite like some nice industry self-backpatting to really get me going…
As the dawn broke Thursday morning, the last thing I expected was that it would be one of the most embarrassing birthdays of my entire life…