There are only a select few times when I actually laugh uncontrollably when I’m totally alone. I think uncontrollable laughter when you are all alone is kind of embarrasing, cause there’s no one to laugh along with you…

… but this time I couldn’t help myself!

I have finally found someone who took everything I feel about Simon Cowell and wrote it down in a heartfelt, lovely song.

Here it is in all its brilliance: (this is worth every second, trust me)

I echo all those words. Simon you are great person. Cause you give everyone a chance to sing on the free media.

Only my hometown of Dallas could produce such amazing talent!

I’d also like to show you one more piece of… ummm… talent…

This girl was very concerned that in her embrace we might just see a little more than we bargained for:


It was a little funnier in the video, but she was pulling the back of her dress down. Good girl, but next time, just wear a longer skirt that doesn’t bring so many.. errr… liabilities with it.

American Idol Season 7 Begins!

Well everyone, welcome to the American Idol blogs for 2008!

Since I have radically expanded this blog thing since last year, let me just explain for all the noobs. Although I had watched American Idol during Seasons 2 and 3, I didn’t really get into American Idol until Season 5. Since then, I have had a great time pundit-izing the singers, judges, and basically everything during this awkward rise to the top.

At times I feel as though I am blood brothers with Simon Cowell. If I were him, I would bear the same look of desperation… “please let me out of this monster I have created!”

This was my favorite clip of the evening… In this telling moment we learn yet another endearing thing about Simon’s personality… the man actually has NO empathetic bone in his body… good for him!

Now to the freaks of the evening… cause honestly, that’s what we tune in for at this stage of the show. In fact, I wont’ blog on EVERY audition episode, cause mostly, there’s not much to say. It’s just more of the freaks. They didn’t even deserve their 2 minutes of air time, and certainly don’t deserve to be re-acknowleged on this blog for an entry in the annals of time. (are you listening to me CLOAK BOY! Get a vlog if you want to command people’s interest in such a desperate way…)

Time has been nice to the AI crew. Nice to know Paula doesn’t age and Randy never gets skinnier. Simon is the only one who’s gotten visibly older as the series has progressed. Paula’s teeth keep getting whiter too. What shade of white comes after “above the brightness of the sun”?!? Wow! Nice chompers. Apparently, she gave her doctor’s card to Elliot Yamin who, incidentally, also gained a great brilliant set since his Idol days. But I digress.

It appears we have another great season brewing. The black chick with the “challenged” child at the end of day one was great, and the MORMON chick at the end of day 2 was good too. Now… I know she didn’t come out and say it, but my Mormo-Dar was going off like mad! She’s originally from Mesa, AZ (a town with a huge mormon community), she has never seen and R rated movie because “her parents taught her and that is now her own decision”, she has that tender, cutesie naivety you can smell a half mile away, and she is a nanny who says “I can’t wait to have my own kids.” Whatever.

Now… this year we’re adding another dimension to the AI blogs.. you get to comment, and I want to HEAR YOU! I know you’re reading, so tell me where I’m on (99% of the time) and where I’m off (it’s happened like once…)

Thanks for reading, and a happy Idol season to all!