Top 12… Nay… Top 13 Reviews

Last night was disappointing on SO many levels!  First of all, a storm came through and totally knocked out my reception for the first several performances, so I’ve had to just piece them together from what I can find on the internet.

Also, I am only 10 days away from getting married, so I’m totally distracted right now from being my usual, maniacal, bitter, angry, insulting self.

That being said… here’s what I have come up with:

What Recession?

Once again, AI tweaked the stage this year.  Did you notice the addition of a smaller stage in between the judges and contestants?  The sometimes do a cool new projection onto the floor of the contestant singing, but mostly it is for the contestants to be able to walk right up to Paula and let her kiss them right on all four cheeks (Adam Lambert…)

They also revamped the big projection screen behind the contestants (last year it was a semi-circle, and this year it’s more of an ellipse with the edges cut off…)

And how about that entrance from down a flight of 1000 lighted stairs for Ryan Seacrest?  A bit over the top?  I think not!  🙂

Let’s get to the singing before I throw up right now…

Lil Rounds

I didn’t get to see the end of Lil Rounds’ performance, but from what I did see, she seemed a little out of her element.  She tried really, really hard and was largely successful at singing the impossible songs of Michael Jackson, but it wasn’t her greatest performance.

Scott MacIntyre

It was nice to see him at the piano, and he is a WICKED pianist!  I can’t believe that someone with no vision can do so much on the piano, and with so little time to learn it.

The thing is: he is not a great vocalist.  He’s not even a good vocalist, I think.  He sounds like his voice is still shaking like he is singing in the school talent show.  I understand nerves, but you’d thing by the Top 12, he’d have worked through some of it.


Danny’s performance was about what Lil Rounds’ was.  His vocals didn’t suck, and he survived Michael Jackson week, but just barely.  Michael songs only fit Michael…. and by Michael, I do not mean…

Michael Sarver

Holy crap.  This guy has no business singing on the top 12 stage.  I don’t care how inspiring his story is or how interesting an individual he is.  He looks like he’s about to blow a gasket at any moment up there, and looks way out of his element.

My guess is, he’s off the show in the next 3 weeks.

Jasmine Murray

I hoped this girl could come back and surprise me, but she didn’t.  She just sucked more.  She doesn’t have pitch, and her “commercial”-ness can only take her so far.  If you think she’s young and cute… well, put her on America’s Top Model or something… anything where there’s no singing. 


Kris gets an award for making pretentiously fake mouth movements… other than that, I liked his performance.  He got the crowd up on their feet, and wasn’t boring.  That said, I won’t be able to tell you tomorrow what he sang… although I will remember that he played the guitar (which totally didn’t match the song), and played his heart out.

Alison Iraheta

I have a problem with her pronunciation.  She decided to sing every word with a “h” in front of it: Hokay… Hive it to me.. Hand I’ll.. Hove…

I thought her performance was good, and was *her*.  I think she knows the only way she can win this thing is to stay in the rocker-chick category and try to get as far as she can against the boys…

Anoop Dawg

The makeover did wonders for him.  The hair is spectacular.  The song, on the other hand, was weak sauce.

His voice is golden, though.  He has impeccable pitch, and I like him as a person.  I just hope he stays in the competition for one more week.  He is running out ofchances.

It looked a bit schtewpid.
– Simon

Jorge Nunez

The song Jorge chose is garbage.  Only Michael Jackson could have made it sound good… cause it didn’t sound so good with Jorge.  He can go at any time as far as I’m concerned.

And has anyone else noticed that his eyebrows and his eyes look like they might turn into giant lazers and kill the inhabitants of planet earth at any time?  I think he has perma-mad eyebrows.  Poor guy.


As if the Tatted out arm wasn’t enough, now you throw on a red dress and pretend you’re from the 50’s?  I’m confused…  This was just awful and super-hoakie.  The arrangement was terrible, and the whole thing felt like something I’d see at Six Flags.

… And… she totally cawed at the end of her song… I’ll get the video up ASAP! (of the cawing)

Adam Lambert

Adam, Adam, Adam.  You and your girly pants.  What can I say?

I don’t love you like Paula loves you, and I don’t think you’re ready to be a mega-star.  In fact, I think your girly haircut and perfectly pieced bangs will only get you famous in Asia.  Are you some anime character, or something?

So, there was something off about that performance.  It wasn’t everything Paula gushed that it was.  I can’t put my finger on it… but I didn’t like it.  Was it the 3 necklaces he was wearing?

Look, the guy is talented – and he did a reasonable job of pulling off the whole wierdo, Michael Jackson thing.  He can sing.  He really can.  But he creeps me out.

Did he used to be a regular at Neverland Ranch or soemthing?

Matt Giraud

Yes.  Excellent song choice.  It is totally his groove. He totally showed off his mad vocal skillz too.  He can sing… except the falsetto got a little nasty toward the end.  Super-nasty.

Scary for him.


Wow…  first of all, what is she wearing?  I’m pretty sure her outfit was just an altered onesie from the infant section.

I think, all told, Alexis was the best tonight.  She is really working hard to make me a believer.  She has really brought it.  Thankfully for her, the girl competition is very weak this year, so she should sail through to the top 5 or so…

So here’s my summary:

  1. Alexis
  2. Matt Giraud
  3. Kris
  4. Danny Gokey
  5. Lil Rounds
  6. Adam
  7. Allison
  8. Scott
  9. Megan
  10. Michael Sarver
  11. Anoop
  12. Jorge
  13. Jasmine

5 thoughts on “Top 12… Nay… Top 13 Reviews”

  1. OK so I know this is off topic but seriously, your wedding is so close. Could I be more excited? Um…no. Meanwhile, I love how you spelled “stupid” phonetically so we could all hear Simon speaking in our minds.

    Has anyone else noticed that Simon got his teeth whitened since last season? Good grief! They are
    practically blue!

  2. Yes I noticed the teeth for sure. I can’t believe how off you are in your evaluations though W.E. I agree with the 2 that went home and thought that the judges were closer to correct tha tyou state they were.

    I liked the phonetic spelling of stupid too, way to go.

  3. Oh yeah and I could never stand Megan and her performance this week, only stregthend my case and my stance, and her stinkiness. Also, I think the judges save is dumb. It’s even cruel I think because it gives the contestants more hope only to be dashed to pieces right at the last moment in front of everyone. I predict that Jasmine won’t be the last of the break out bawlers that get told, “sorry you aren’t good enough for us to save you.”

  4. I know I’m coming into this late, but did anyone else think it looked like Paula had a giant chicken in her cleavage that was trying to choke her? That’s all I could think when she was talking…

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