This is article 4 in the series, “Celebrating Singleness”:

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s not a pretty thing. Every blue moon the question is asked (either by myself or by someone else) “Why am I not married?” So let’s start in with the excuses…

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The funny thing is, I have actually used most of these excuses (except the ones about having fun and getting established — that has never been a requirement) and most of them are just fake. It’s almost like we make them up for not other reason than just to get done talking about it and move on. It’s like we have to satisfy some excuse god so we can maintain a balanced xi or something.

Really, though, get real. I’m not going to tell you why I’m not married. I’m sure there are reasons that I don’t even know. Until I figure all them out, I’m going to invent the most interesting, thought provoking excuses to throw you off and entertain you so we can move on to another conversation topic.

Oh, and how many times have I heard this old song and dance from my married family and friends…

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Why do married people “worry” about single people? Really… I’m just fine. I promise. If I need something off of a high shelf, I just get a ladder.

I just absolutely love this show.

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9 Responses to Celebrating Singleness: Excuses

  1. Matt says:

    Henceforth and forever. Amen and Amen.

  2. Elneeta says:

    I am glad I have a sister. Since she has gotten married I don’t get the “When are you going to get married?” thing… as much. These days I get “You are getting too old to get married.” (insert sad frowny faces and looks of shame and hopelessness from the other person) I think my family has resigned to the fact that I probably will remain single. Do you think it is harder for a guy to be single or a girl to be single? Do you think it is the culture we surround ourselves with? If everything were equal but we were not a part of a “family oriented” environment do you think we would catch as much flack?

  3. Alison says:

    Do the married people sing their worries to you like in the clip? If so, that’s frickin’ awesome! I want to be there for that!

    Oh, and I don’t have a ladder. I do have a step stool though.

  4. Rhia Jean says:

    I spent an obscene amount of money on books this week…so did just about every other librarian in Texas and I overheard one woman say, “My husband is going to kill me!” (referring to how much money she spent of course) Then I thought, “Hmmm…mine won’t!” And I thought that is a good excuse for me this week for being single still…so my husband won’t kill me for how much money I spent on books. It’s a matter of survival, you know. Please feel free to use this excuse when it suits your needs…that is, if you haven’t already. 🙂

  5. John Quintana says:

    What is this play???

  6. memikeyounot says:

    Could you tell me where you found that filmed version of “Company” with Raul Esparza? I missed it on PBS a few months ago and haven’t seen it on DVD yet. Thanks

  7. It’s called Company, one of Stephen Sondheim’s lesser known, rarely performed shows.

    The DVD is available for pre-order @ amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Company-Raul-Esparza/dp/B0014IC31G

    At the end of the show, it said it was available to order by calling 800-336-1917 for $24.99… dunno if that’s a pre-order or what.

  8. Maigen says:

    Smug Married at party: Yes, Bridget, why are there so many single women over the age of thirty these days?
    Bridget Jones: Oh, I don’t know. I suppose it doesn’t help that underneath our clothes our entire bodies are covered in scales.

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