Beard and Ponytail Convention

I’ve been spending the last 3 days as an exhibitor in a technical theater convention, and let me tell you — it has been a TREAT! The people watching alone was worth the insane price I paid for a table and two chairs in the very back corner of the convention hall.

It’s mostly because of the beards. It’s like the ‘beard’ convention… I’m pretty sure people actually grow out their beard just for this annual event, and the more scraggly and unkempt, the better. These people are usually technical directors – which are people who are over the various shops and technical departments in a theatre – and who translate designers wild drawn-on-a-napkin ideas into real things that can be thrown, stood on, or shot at without breaking.

beard2.jpg beard1.jpg

They are the true wizards of the theatre, and so I suppose it’s fitting that they actually LOOK like crazy, merlin-esque wizards. (I’ve been trying to take some covert photos, but didn’t want to look too “inspicuous” about it.)

For those of them who can’t seem to grow facial hair (genetic anomaly? natural selection?) they seem to overcompensate by growing long, ugly pony tails. Because these guys spend most of their days welding or working with wood, you can guess what this hair typically looks like… it’s not easy to get all the sawdust out, and you know they aren’t brushing it 125 times every night.


What’s even better is these lovely people are usually bald on top, so I think they’re growing out their fringe to compensate for their lack of women or social skills.

Someone just needs to bring clippers to this thing, pin these guys down, and shear the herd!

On the other hand, this hair thing is a “right” that these guys get after a certain amount of time. Indeed, theatre people and Harley riders are probably the only people in the world who can get away with such heinous hair. (and maybe I’ll throw in musicians, but they can’t be quite as greasy) It’s all part of the gig.

For those who care, the convention went really well. My stuff was very well received.

So here’s to the first million!

5 thoughts on “Beard and Ponytail Convention”

  1. Maybe it’s all in the name of perception, like you would never take a yuppy-type seriously as an artist, whereas someone who looks like he hasn’t seen a mirror (or a bar of soap) in a few months must be an artist, and therefore has so many important, life-changing questions to ponder that he can’t be bored with trifling necessities. I think sometimes that’s why so many of us (myself included) dressed so weird as well. Either that or sleep deprivation.

  2. Mullets! Mullets are even better to spot in a crowd than a ponytail. Oh, they are the delightful 1st cousin to the beard and ponytail train wreck. However, I guess when the guy is balding on top and has a ponytail, it could technically be categorized as a mullet. Hum . . . thought-provoking.

  3. I have a beard and ponytail and I get no end of grief from my workmates.

    They just don’t know how good it feels. I look hunky!!

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