BREAKING NEWS: Ellen Degeneres is Paula’s Replacement

It’s official.  Paula Abdul will be replaced by none other than Ellen DeGeneres.

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How do I feel about this?  Let me tell you how I feel about this…

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For reals, peeps?!  Ellen?

I love Ellen as a comedian, don’t get me wrong, but she will singlehandedly sink the American Idol franchise as a judge.  Mark my words, friends, this is the beginning of the end.  The American Idol apocalypse has begun.

Look, the whole point of the American Idol formula is that you have three (or four, after they screwed up that last year) who are fun, diverse, and can offer some for-reals, smart, snap judgements about a performance based on their professional experience.

So what part of being a comic and an avid karaoke bar customer gives Ellen the chops to do any of that??

If you saw Ellen as a guest judge on last season’s So You Think You Can Dance, you can see she makes a fantastic guest judge – offering great one liners and keeping the audience entertained with her variation in tone.  But she puts people in the back of their seats.  A judge should bring the audience to the front of their seats.  Judges like Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan do that.  Judges like Ellen make people say, “oh let’s see what the funny lady is going to say next…”

I just don’t know how long I can stand listening to her make the same jokes about “I can do that,” when clearly she has no real experience as anything but a comic, (and a super-good one at that… seriously… love her wit!)

So Ellen, sit down on my overstuffed chair, girl, so we can chat…

You got a lot to prove.  If you stick with your strength, it will feel out of place.  If you try to compete with Randy and Kara and Simon, it will feel out of place.  I just don’t see a win in this for you, sweet-ums.

Stick to your day job.

7 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS: Ellen Degeneres is Paula’s Replacement”

  1. I thought that Ellen was funny and fun on the 100th episode of SYTYCD. But as I further thought about it, what made her fun was that she was different. Hearing those same jokes over and over, or having lame puns inserted into everything would get old. It was a good “special” thing.

    But now, I don’t know how in the world Ellen is going to keep it fresh and real and interesting. She can’t offer any real critique compared to someone like Kara.

    I dunno, I think it’s going to be a flop.

    Why do they need four judges anyway?

  2. Oh Ellen. You are so funny. In small doses. Sigh. Will the nose dive of AI see no end? Alas, it seems the answer is no.

  3. I am suprised at the comments to this post. I would like to hear more. I really like Ellen and I think I will enjoy her if I ever get cable. ha ha. I haven’t got to watch AI for the last 3 years because we don’t have TV which is great most of the time. Except when AI is on. enjoyed this post and liked hearing what everyone had to say.

  4. Ruby, AI is on Fox, which is a free over-the-air channel. All you need is rabbit ears to get it. Taylor will hook you up. We don’t have cable either. We don’t “pay the pig.” 🙂

  5. For the life of me I can’t figure out why they brought Kara on. Who the heck is she? And what makes her so fabulous? Haven’t been impressed with her, but have to say my watching has been infrequent. Having four judges just screws everything up. It totally gets rid of the two against one tension. Don’t we see enough of Ellen already?

  6. I just became a fan of doing anything else durring that time slot. That woman is creepy. Now is Ellen and Rosie O’d were in a celebrity boxing match… that would be funny to watch.

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