It’s official. Paula Abdul will be replaced by none other than Ellen DeGeneres.
How do I feel about this? Let me tell you how I feel about this…
For reals, peeps?! Ellen?
I love Ellen as a comedian, don’t get me wrong, but she will singlehandedly sink the American Idol franchise as a judge. Mark my words, friends, this is the beginning of the end. The American Idol apocalypse has begun.
Look, the whole point of the American Idol formula is that you have three (or four, after they screwed up that last year) who are fun, diverse, and can offer some for-reals, smart, snap judgements about a performance based on their professional experience.
So what part of being a comic and an avid karaoke bar customer gives Ellen the chops to do any of that??
If you saw Ellen as a guest judge on last season’s So You Think You Can Dance, you can see she makes a fantastic guest judge – offering great one liners and keeping the audience entertained with her variation in tone. But she puts people in the back of their seats. A judge should bring the audience to the front of their seats. Judges like Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan do that. Judges like Ellen make people say, “oh let’s see what the funny lady is going to say next…”
I just don’t know how long I can stand listening to her make the same jokes about “I can do that,” when clearly she has no real experience as anything but a comic, (and a super-good one at that… seriously… love her wit!)
So Ellen, sit down on my overstuffed chair, girl, so we can chat…
You got a lot to prove. If you stick with your strength, it will feel out of place. If you try to compete with Randy and Kara and Simon, it will feel out of place. I just don’t see a win in this for you, sweet-ums.
Stick to your day job.