Brooke’s Voted Off – Now What?

During this season of American Idol, the most googled search terms that landed people on my blog were “brooke white mormon girl”. So I thought it was fitting to do a little post on her kick off day.

Dear Brooke,

From the moment I saw you in your “Where’s Waldo” shirt and heard your Carly Simon throwback voice, I knew we’d be seeing you in the top 5. Too bad you didn’t make it further than that.

All I can say is: so long. I thought it was so lovely and emotional and slightly disturbing that you were so emotional last night, yet somehow through the river of tears and snot you were able to squeak out a few notes.

You know, you should feel good, though. You went as far as you probably could or should have. You probably could have made it top 3 if you did everything right, but there ain’t no way you’re taking out either David.

Now, as for the next step in your career.

I want you to march straight down to Deseret Book, and make your Mormon pop album. Think of all the 40-50 somethings who are major Carly Simon fans who would LOVE for you to make an album they can buy in their favorite LDS Bookstore…

Plus, your “I survived the America, Hollywood, and Simon Cowell” story and squeaky clean image will all translate into dollars if you follow my advice.

If you don’t and you choose to have a real music career, you will likely have a super short career on some indie lable, since you will never give up artistic control of your albums or your morals – and lets face it, in the music industry, sex sells.

So, go make your acoustic/piano album for Deseret Book, and I’ll see you at the book signing.


8 thoughts on “Brooke’s Voted Off – Now What?”

  1. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Oh, my heart is breaking!! Why?? Why not the nasty dreadlock guy?? My testimony is rocked!!

    (But I agree with your advice; she’d totally clean up with Mormon pop. I’d come to the signing too!)

  2. comments about Brooke
    1. she kept religion out of it, good for her, we Mormons are devout, but we are just people too, more “normal” than people think.

    2. She was herself. Sometimes that’s enough.

    3. It WAS nice to have a breath of fresh air and not another stripper/starlet/internet junkie on the show.

    4. She has her good-looking husband, her family and her life to return to, she hasn’t lost even if her only gig for the next 50 years is ward choir.

    5. It was nice to see the “nice” girl outlast the freaks and the scary girls. (If Ramielle would have outlasted Brooke I would have been so upset.) The only girl she didn’t beat was Syesha and c’mon, everyone has to agree, Syesha is morphing into classy and gorgeous and wonderful.

    6. It was also nice to see someone that you could imagine becoming BFF’s with.

    7. She has some funny personality quirks like the talking over everyone, like she was over nervous all the time or something. But it still worked.

    8. Why was she so upset at the end? Why was she so sad? Weigh in..

  3. I enjoyed this post. Mormons have reacted differently to Brooke leaving. For a more humorous take check out Anyways, Brooke is cool. She will be fine.

  4. Look out, Janice Kapp Perry! And Michael McLean (I’m quite certian I spelled his name wrong but since his very mention gives me the heebie jeebies, I’m not interested enough to do the necessary internet research to confirm my suspicion). Anyway, I agree with W.E. She went as far as she needed to. Any further and I think people would have been bored. But I do applaud Brooke for having stayed true to herself (awkward as that self sometimes is) rather than morph into something no one wanted to see.

    I do have to say, though, that I’m am both thoroughly bored and candidly, just plain over Jason Castro. Even morbid curiosity for what kind of a train wreckhe may come up with next is no longer sufficient to keep me watching him. I now have no further recourse but to avert my eyes (and ears). And what’s worse is I fear the man has even managed to bore himself. He seems to be so over whatever anyone says, or even singing in general. I’m pretty sure America should do him and all of the rest of us a favor and vote him the devil off AI. Can I get an Amen?

  5. Was she really mormon? I did not even know that. Is David Archuletta? (I just assumed because he is from Murray. Which is so stupid of me to assume someone is mormon because they live in Utah, but whatever).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.