Pig Flu, Plosives, and Pamerican Pidol

I’m following Rhia‘s lead here, and calling this disease what it is: Pig Flu.  No, it’s not swine flu (not that I think Swine is that much of an upgrade from Pig).  We need a good solid plosive to really portray our disgust at this disease.

What is a plosive?  If you’re not an English major or a vocalist, you may not know.  Plosive are consonants that make an exploding sound when you say them.  They rely on a certain amount of built up pressure behind your lips.  P,D,B,K, and T are the major ones.

Notice, all the best/nastiest words start with P

• Pee
• Poo
• Prostate
• Paula (P)Abdul
• and many others (c’mon… my mom reads this blog)

So the “Pig Flu” does seem to enhance the nastiness of the disease.  Bravo, Rhia.

Tonight is the top 5 of American Idol, which I am now renaming Pamerican Pidol, in honor of the Pig Flu, and also to honor it as one of the best/nastiest words in our English language.

American Idol has a great vowel-filled, roll-off-the-tongue feel to it.  Throw in a few P’s and we instantly have a show that fewer Americans will like and talk about.

Henceforth American Idol will no longer be known as A.I., but as P.P.

When I was in choir during college, our choir president, Jeff, was in charge of consonants.  Even today, when I listen back to our recordings, I can hear Jeff hacking away at those beautiful consonants – especially the plosives.

This blog was brought to you in part by the Foundation for WhiteEyebrows’ Stream of Consciousness.