Just when you thought this crazy series was dead, I go and bring out PART 5!
We cannot have a full discussion about the single experience without discussing Blind Dates and the crazy friends and relatives who inflict them on us.
I’ve never been much of an aggressive dater. I have always enjoyed a fun date every now and again, but never been like ‘gotta have it’ like was some lifeblood or vitamin water or whatever. Because I have been judged (at one time or another in my life) as not dating “enough” or “the right people”, I have often been set up on blind dates with people I didn’t even know from Eve.
For those who haven’t been in the dating scene for a while, a blind date is defined as a date where one or both of you were asked out by an intermediary because you didn’t know each other well enough to ask directly.
Blind dates typically go very well (ring coming soon) or very badly (the majority). Only a wee small percentage of them are just ‘all right’ and lead to second dates or future interest.
Let me explain why blind dates almost always go badly:
- The person/people who set you up have absolutely no concept of your personality or what you might be looking for in a girl. Many of them just see a single guy and a single girl and automatically think – “Hey, they’d be great for each other” without even considering the fact that they share no common interests, aptitudes, talents, and/or attitudes.
- The date activity you choose (for example, bowling) will most likely be something that one of you is really bad at, and which will rapidly get super-uncomfortable.
- The offending ‘setter-uppers’ will often want to double date with you, which always makes the pressure even greater for the date to succeed, which sometimes leads to the actual failure of the date because the comfortable parties will naturally gravitate toward each other. (People have gotten married this way, yo.)
I decided to post about this today because while I was kickin’ it on the elliptical this morning, my friends from the Today show were doing this interview about how mothers try to set up their daughters with anyone who appears at all successful or artistic – without the slightest regard for small details like… their marital status.
The problem is, non-single people don’t understand the importance of asking basic questions like, “Are you married?” They just see two people of the opposite gender, both with a pulse, and decide in their minds that they would make a fantastic couple based on those assumptions. This is why any random idea from friends and family members for we single people is met with a hearty dose of skepticism.
So what is to be done about this absurd practice? Absolutely nothing. I have been on a lot of blind dates in my life, and while most weren’t that great at all, they are cherished, horrendous moments which I now reflect on and laugh about.
12 thoughts on “Celebrating Singleness: Getting Hooked Up”
I have 2 girls I want to set you up with when you get here in June. What days would you like?
My parents, as pushy as they are sometimes, NEVER try to set me up because they know that is the one subject that would start WWIII.
Although …my dad was asking me last week about a guy one of his friends sugested I should date in our ward. For more information on the hilarious story ask me the next time we see each other. I don’t want the internet to have evidence of my potty mouth or bad opinion of the mystery man. It was THAT bad. I seriously wonder if my dad’s BFF hates me in some way. And you KNOW how mellow and whatever I am on the subject of set up dates. I don’t really care. I’ll go – no big deal. Unless my parents are involved. So anyways. It was BAD is all I’m saying.
People should just invite both their friends to dinner parties or events or something if they need to meet and marry someone so badly. Why does it always have to be a big THING. I never set people up. I ARRANGE for them to meet. Whole different ballgame. No awkwardness cause they don’t know I have been scheming on their behalf. Then I say Kate- this is my friend Bob that I always talk about. He does this thing that you also do. Exciting! And then they talk or don’t and no one cares. Perfection.
I have a couple I am prepping too.
I don’t care either way about blind dates. I mean, I could’ve said no, so if it sucks, I can’t really get mad.
Besides, what have I got to lose? An hour or two of my life? Big deal. It isn’t written in stone that I have to do anything after that with this person.
However, I am like Erica in that I don’t like my family trying to arrange blind dates for me. Maybe I’m subconsciously relating their efforts to a pre-arranged marriage situation, which creeps me out. Whatever the reason, I have an aversion to the family being involved.
OK all I have to say about blind dates is that nearly every time I went on one, I came home thinking “what must the person who set me up with this man think of me?” It seems like the boys were always at least the polar opposite of what I would ever even consider normal, socially stable and/ or generally tolerable for longer than 3-7 minutes. I wasn’t sure if I was to be insulte by their choices on my behalf or not but any way you slice it, it was just awkward.
In any case, I agree with you. Some of the best stories I and my friends have come from blind dates! Too funny. Too awkward. Too precious. LOVE THEM!!!
Fine, according to all your girlfriends that posted to this blog, I need to set it up as a party.social/gathering. Believe me I am great at throwing a party. Just ask the 200 people at my Xmas party. So what day would you like the party?
Remember when I got set up with a married girl and we both had a good time (not knowing she was married, until a few days later)… yeah, that scarred me for life.
Yeah, that was the worst blind date I had ever heard of.
News Flash… I found you a great blind date (common interests, not married, didn’t double with you) Give me a little more credit than that.
YFC, of all my blind dates, yours was probably one of the best. Too bad we just live 2000 miles away from each other.
Thank you and good night.
Taking the blind date one step worse, however, is when the “facilitator” intimates that you would be perfect to “fix” the opposite party–i.e. no social skills, faltering morals, etc. Yikes! Thank goodness my parents have good taste and haven’t tried to set me up…it helps that there in a small town with no prospects.(grins) Aunts are another story, they’re rabid!