The Tragic Combination of “Stupid” and “Loudmouth”

Well, the title says it all for this one… Today I’ll be extolling the awkwardness that ensues when you run across those ‘special’ individuals who are tragically smitten with this deadly combination of personality traits.  Yes friends, I’m talking about when, in a single individual, those two mighty forces of “I say stupid things” and “I can’t manage to keep my mouth shut” join forces to create the most awkward social situations. I call this affliction “StupidMouth”.

We all have to admit that most of us have had our own StupidMouth moments in life.  I mean, who hasn’t put their foot in their mouth at least once?  No one that I know.  Even the best of us have a full day every couple of years when we can’t manage to put together an inoffensive statement.

But there are a few others who seem to be chronically afflicted with StupidMouth, such that their disorder frequently and belligerently pronounces itself, loud and clear, and in the worst social situations.  When they get going on a run, there’s no stopping them.  They will offend or alienate the whole crowd.  Some of them are aware of this, while others remain completely oblivious to it.

So what are we to do with these friends?  How do you teach such ethereal social/behavioral notions?

As I considered it, I’ve decided to carry a bell around with me.  Like one of those bells on the front desk you ring to get assitance… and whenever someone has a “StupidMouth” moment, the bell gets rung.

… or maybe use a shock collar instead…

5 thoughts on “The Tragic Combination of “Stupid” and “Loudmouth””

  1. I vote shock collar, all the way. Why even consider the bell when you could use the shock collar? This is genius!

  2. I am very intrigued with this notion of actually telling these people they are doing something wrong. I have friend who completely suffers from this, and I feel bad because I have quite honestly distanced myself from her because of it, and yet we are really old time family friends so I feel horrible. Have you actually come up with a real solution to this problem oh wise one?

  3. I feel like we need further context in this story. But in the meantime, I vote for shock collar.

  4. Why stop at the shock collar? Why not just use a taser? Never underestimate the element of surprise!

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