American Idol – Top 10 Reviews

Is it just me or is this an off year? Last year we had 6 or 7 of the top 10 who were just clamoring for the top spot. This year, its more like a couple of little whimpers… how could America have gotten to this point?

Last night was full on “the good, the bad, and the ugly” (no disrespect to Mr. Eastwood)

The Good:
Never fear AI fans, there is a ray of sunshine on this cloudy horizon… and her name is:

Melinda Doolittle.

Oh yes. Once again, my woman pulls a hat trick. Just when you think she may stumble… Just when you think she can’t keep her momentum, she pulls another one out. I’m impressed. I wasn’t wild about her tights, but didn’t think it was so bad it warranted a comment from Simon, and her hair was ultra cute tonight. If you are not in the finals, Melinda, I will swear to never watch this show again.

You’re hanging on to my good list, although you still haven’t given me good reason to vote for you. You have a huge instrument, but somehow I feel like I can hear your voice at every other baptist church on the east side of the Mississippi. It is nice, it is good, but you still haven’t shown me why you’re extraordinary.

Way to rock it out tonight! I thought it was the best you’ve ever done. Good choice of song, wardrobe was a little over the top, but the vocal was spot on, and so was your pink streak (did you get that recently redone?)

I enjoyed you this week, cause you didn’t have to beat box to stand out. You just sang a song and all the women melted. The vocal was good, but I still can’t stand to watch you because of the weird stuff you do with your head and lips. You are good though and will go far.

The Bad:

Other than your eyebrows being obviously colored in tonight and the rest of you way too hairless (i didn’t know bic could shave so close!), your song was just OK. You’ve really plateaued and I don’t see it getting better any time soon.

This was not the ‘championship round’ jordan we have seen in weeks passed. This is psycho Jordin who lost track of who she was a little bit.

Hmm… Haley, Haley. What can I say. You aren’t very good. You aren’t really bad, but you aren’t really good either. Your just middle of the road. Good luck in your future modeling career.

The Ugly:

You know i’m saving this for last, because HELLO AMERICA! Wake up! This little boy is making an awful fool of himself, and it’s your fault.

First, that hair looked like something inspired from an awful experiment with a My Little Pony doll with a light coat of pink frosting… which confirmed last week’s suspicions of his ambiguous sexuality. I mean, come on… any dude who does the hair on My Little Pony… enough said.

Really, it didn’t matter what he sang. He could have sang Row, Row, Row Your Boat and no one would have cared. His nasty hair was screaming so loudly we didn’t hear anything he said or sang.

Have you ever been in a car when everyone was singing along to the radio, then everyone drops out but the most awkward singer in the car? I haven’t, but I imagine it is just as awkward as listening to Sanjaya. UGh! If any single contestant is going to make me loose faith in America, it will be Sanyaya Malakar.

Bonus! The Forgettable:

Chris Sligh:
He kind of seems to be getting worse and worse. He is loosing that charm and wit that he was so famous for early on. Or maybe he is just getting tired of the whole thing. It looks like he is enjoying the craft services too much… seems like he’s put on a little poundage.

Chris Richardson:
New rule. No same first names allowed in the top 10. One of you has to go soon so I can stop having to remember you by last name. Maybe i should just start referring to you as Fatty Chris and I’m-Too-Sexy Chris.

ADDENDUM: 3-28-07 11:20pm

Ok. I have to admit something. I was really distracted last night and ended up not watching AI as closely as I usually do. However, there were a few things that I failed to point out.

1) Baldy – You were good. I knew I messed that up, but yes, you actually were good. this was possibly one of your better songs, although it was a little scarily close to the original.

2) Jordin – I remembered what i was going to say about you… What in the world were you wearing girlfriend?! That looked like some kind of a picnic basket flannel combo gone wrong. What an awful skirt too. Drab. Please get some help with the stylists.

Just one more shout out to my woman Melinda…. you go girl!

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