American Idol – Top 7 Reviews

Top seven… hmm… I wonder. Seven is supposed to be a golden number. A lucky number. Could it be? Will it be the week America is finally relieved of it’s worst idol joke yet? Will this be the week of the voting off of Sanjaya?!

Country.. eww. I don’t like country very much. Actually it’s the Twang. Not that all country has to be twang… hmm… I wonder if twang is actually a word. Yup. Google says it is, at least. No, I like the country/pop crossover stuff, and I like girl country singers and not the guys.

Phil – Nice. So you wanna be a country singer, eh? Glad you finally realized that in the FINAL 7… maybe if you would have come out earlier, you woudl have had some support from the fellow back-woodsers in west virginia. Then maybe you wouldn’t be in trouble week after week. Well, if anything could save you, that was it. Unfortunately, your black hole of a personality will still be a liability. I think you’re a gonner this week.

KiKi – Garrrl… that was NOT good! First of all, you do not try my woman, carrie underwood, without BRINGIN’ it. You know… You peaked too early in the competition. And it really bugs me the little attitude you have when you say thank you to people. It’s like a “thank you, I told you I could do it.” I think you think you’re being sincere, but it is coming off as smug. It’s almost like compliments are demanded or expected, and you’re always ready with a business like “thank you.”

Melinda – Thanks for getting back on track this week. Another great performance. I did write stellar there, but had to erase it. You are a great singer, and maybe even one of the best technical singers, but you are refusing to shine sometimes. I think simon’s little exercise in getting you to not be surprised tonight reminded/showed us that you know you are good. We don’t want you to be cocky about it, but we want you to know it and have fun with it. Also, we need to talk about what you wore tonight. That top was NOT flattering. It sort of accentuated your lack of a neck by confirming that your head is really attached directly to your shoulders. Also, it made your cantaloups look like watermelons… which desperately needed taming.

However… you are being threatened! By a little GIRL!

Jordin – you are shooting up through the ranks much like Katherine McPhee did last year. She just kind of quietly hung on during the early part of the competition, then shot forward in the top 8. You sparkled tonight, and it wasn’t just the stupid glitter spray every 13 year old girl discovers and thinks is so cool to sprinkle all over themselves and flake off to all their friends. Your dress was gorgeous (I loved the japanese-ish influence), and the song was perfect. I could see you coming for the last two weeks, but I think you’re just now arriving. My girl Melinda better watch out cause Jordin’s a-coming.

Now boys…

Chris – I actually thought your song wasn’t that bad. I went back and listened to it twice to confirm the nasal-ness though. and it’s definitely there. I would not want to listen to that on the radio for very long. However, you currently are surpassing Blake in the confidence competition. I have felt you getting stronger in past weeks, and it’s not in your Justin Timberlake look alike contest, either.

Blake – That was rough. It sounded like you were sick, and I think the judges gave you a pass. And what was with Simon going into his tribute in the middle of his comments to you? It was a little awkward, but that’s our simon. I thought your vocal was bad and had major pitch problems. The song was very unmemorable. You need to pull it up by the bootstraps and bring back the exciting Blake to have a chance to beat chris out for the teenybopper vote.

Sanjaya – I am officially sick of writing about you. What is with the doo rag and the HUGE boof in back? You looked like an alien from Independence Day. You need to pull a Brittany and give that noggin’ a nice BIC job, then you won’t be tempted to do such UGLY things with your hair. And what was with Ryan interrupting during Simon’s tearing apart? That was awkward moment #1 on the show tonight. (Awkward moment #2 was when simon got up a little early before break to run to the loo… did anyone see that but me?) Anyway, your vocal was simply atrocious. You indeed HAVE given america a lot to talk about, and I sincerely hope that tomorrow you are voted off the show. As simon put it, we are looking for the best singers in America, and you’re simply not it.

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