American Idol – Top 8 Reviews

It’s about time American Idol finally had a “latin” night… and who better to do it with than Jennifer Lopez. Sometimes I get Jennifer Lopez confused with Jennifer Aniston, who is definitely a much better actress… but I wonder if Jennifer Aniston sings? Maybe she should audition for AI next year.

Yeah… now there’s an idea… I think they should have some hollywood-ers who want to break into the music industry be contestants on AI. Or here’s another… do American Idol All-Stars… bring back some of the ones who want a second shot. That could be painful.

Anyway, now that I’ve proved why i’m not a producer on AI…


Melinda – Gaarl!!! You didn’t do as well as in previous weeks. I wasn’t entranced like usual. It was good, but you did struggle with the sexiness of the number. You were more threatened by Jordin and Lakisha (“Kiki”). Even so, you are still my woman.

Lakisha – I liked your song choice. I liked your dress. I thought you were going to trip over your bottom lip several times during the song. Is there such a thing as a lip reduction? Then you keep calling attention to your flouncy bouncy flabby arms. All large women, please listen. I have nothing against large women… but I have A LOT against large women who wear sleeveless apparel. EW! Don’t. Just don’t. The singing was OK, minus the fact that your tongue and mouth doesn’t working fast enough for latin music.

Phil – Props on the song choice. By that I mean, props that you chose a song no one knows, or cares about, which isn’t very exciting (hello lost opportunity in LATIN week!). The vocal was actually pretty good, but you are boring and already in jeopardy. You show very little personality. In fact, i get more personality from the brief shots of your wife in the audience.

Which begs the question – what’s with Married w/Idol this year. Phil’s married, Chris Sligh was married (isn’t he way too young?) Just pointing out how people, even american idol wannabes, actually get married.

Chris – Nice work. The ending was really cool, but the song in general was kind of boring for me. Not the best song choice for you. You are going to give Blake a run for his money, when he was just wiping the floor with you.

Blake – it was a pretty good vocal. You need to go back to how you were before you stopped beat boxing. Yes, it is a singing competitoin, but that helped you really stand out. I don’t think you shoudl beat box in every number, but you should take that musicianship into every song you do. You aren’t the best singer here, so take a page out of Haley’s book and stick with your strengths.

Haley – Once again, Simon is right. You are sticking to your “strengths”… which are your legs. Your vocal wasn’t too bad. Your makeup was all over the place… you looked like a $25 hooker who had just discovered lipstick. I liked your hair though.

Jordin – you were perhaps the best this evening. Even though your song was more 80’s than latin, it was still firey and exciting. You were a little vocally reckless in places, but it was scary.

Sanjaya – you are a psycho. The sad thing is, you should have never made the top 24. You would have just faded silently into the distance. You wouldn’t even be a William Hung. You would be like your sister, unknown. but no. We have availed you of this position. You will likely not excel in the music industry (too many actual musicians in the industry for that to happen), but you may get into film or something else that requires little real talent. At any rate… i still want you to get voted off ASAP. If you get into the top 5, my faith in this show will take a severe hit.

Time to start thinking in terms of the Top 5. Top 5 this year is really easy. Not like last year where it was a crime every time someone was vote off. The top 5 singers here are Melida, Lakisha, Jordin, Chris, and Blake. One thing is certain. These singers better start bringing it every single week. As of yet, Melinda is the only one who has done that. I hope she can keep it up. I could see Senjaya beating Chris out of the top 5 if this national fluke continues though… stay tuned. You know I will be.

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