Top 8 Guys Reviewed

I had special guests over tonight for the Idol watching.  We will just refer to them as “The Freaks at Table 9” aka, the Brauns!  And here are the reviews…

Luke Menard

So this guy is just smarmy. Almost statutory. He’s just a little weenie. But the singing just wasn’t good, and he has yet to pick a song that he actually sounds good on. He should really go back to trying ballet and the tutu.

David Archuleta

Wow. How can you top what you did last week? This was a great song choice, and the vocal was awesome. There are these split second lapses in pitch accuracy, but other than that, amazing. This guy has it sewn up for the guys. He’s in the top 2 or 3 for sure.

Tamara says, “Dude, this guy wasn’t even born in the 80’s!”

I will say that his little shtick about what goes through his head when he sings the song was a little over the top. This kid is 17… what does he know about poverty and world hunger and healing the world! I say, “who is this guy, Bono junior?” The freaks at table 9 say, “just get him some shades.”

Danny Noriega

“Our cute little tomato” Did you notice the little catwalk walk out again this week. He’s workin’ that ‘alternative’ vote hard! Tainted love… I feel tainted myself. Do I need a chemical bath after that song?

So the thing is, the vocal isn’t too bad – but you just have to close your eyes and not watch the man himself. The last thing is this kid needs is purple highlights in his hair… next week he might come out in fishnets and a leather hat.

David Hernandez

Ok… David broke AI Cardinal Rule #1… never sing Celine or Whitney. Never. You will never do it better than they did. He actually even copied her malformed syllables. He’s got a great voice, but the song was too big for him, I think. He is a good singer, and should continue, though.

Michael Johns

Mascot work!!! A rugby mascot?!? A kangaroo Rugby Mascot – above all things?!? And he got beat up for it!?!  HA HA HA! He probably deserved that…

His voice kind of sounds like it belongs in the 80’s… it has that dirty rock timbre to it. Generally, though, he isn’t really that spectacular to me though. I have been very lukewarm on him for this whole competition. If he just keeps picking the right song, though, he will continue to go the distance.

David Cook

Now this is was a really slick performance. Perhaps the best performance of the night, definitely the most creative. Way to go out on a limb! I thought the style was just perfect, and he totally brought his “A” game against the little Archuleta boy. My only beef with the song is it looked a little too over-rehearsed. He’d obviously been spending too much time practicing this in front of the mirror with his little slanty lips and smoldering eyes.

Jason Castro
After consulting with the freaks at table 9, we came to the conclusion that Jason “looks like the love child of a princess… and an elf… and a hobbit.” I don’t know… you decide:


As for the singing, the Jeff Buckley “Hallelujah” is one of my favorite songs of all time, so there was room for nothing but some disappointment. I thought it was all right… Paula says he made it look effortless, but the truth is he made it look ‘effort-full’. He just pushed too hard for it. I’m not going to go as far as Simon to say I loved it.


This guy has to stay in it. He’s the underdog favorite of mine.  He’s at a serious risk of going, because of the strength of all the other contestants.  But this brother can blow, and he deserves to stay in it another week. I really like his style, even though his song choices have really been lacking.

Who should go:
WhiteEyebrows: Luke, Danny
Cornfed: Luke, Jason
Cornfed’s Wife (I need a better nickname for you): Luke, Danny

Who’s going to go: Luke and Chickeze

Best of the night: David Cook, David Archuleta

Of all the performances of the night, though, the highlight was when Cornfed sang “Say You, Say Me” during a commercial break – in homage to his idol, Lionel Ritchie.

This one’s for you Braun:


9 thoughts on “Top 8 Guys Reviewed”

  1. Ok, I’m outing myself–I watch American Idol. Oh no, I said it out loud. *cringe* Don’t hold it against me. So, my mother was constantly playing Lionel Richie, Phil Collins, the Bee Gees, and Dolly Parton when I was a kid. Uh, yeah, I was singing all of the lyrics to “Another Day in Paradise” and “Hello” tonight. I want to download “Say You, Say Me” now. Hum….

    Although I heart George Michael (with or without Wham!), Luke Menard butchered this super gay, but great song. He needs to leave….quickly. Danny Noriega is delightfully femme, but going home. The kid’s funny though, gotta give him that. I like Jason Castro, even if it wasn’t so great tonight (I’m not sure why they were so thrilled with his performance). Not really a fan of Chickezie. He’s “eh” for me. David Cook has bugged me from the beginning (is it the hair?), but tonight was really good (I think you secretly want to use his “slanty lips and smoldering eyes” look. Jealous much?) David Archuleta is A-MAZ-ING. I love him, love him, love him.

    Ok, the end. I’m going to bed now. I’m up waaaaay past my bedtime . . . as usual.

  2. It’s about time.. Welcome to the party!

    (and yes, after many long hours in front of the mirror, I’ve never been able to produce slanty lips)

  3. My take, you have to hear it W.E.

    Luke – bye, bye. I have liked him in the past. He’s good looking, clean and normal. Looks like a man etc. But it just wasn’t as good as everyone else and he’s not saved himself in other performances.

    David A. – I never liked Phil Collins much. I just don’t like his sound. Tarzan movie bugged me. But this ithe first time that I loved that song. cause P.C. didn’t sing it. He was great and I have loved him for a couple of weeks now. I agreed with simon though he should’ve stayed at the piano.

    Danny – in talking to my husband last night while watching him I accidentally called him “her”. I mean it’s so bad. and the tomato comment? I mean I am puking. I can’t believe that they like him so much. the vocal was horrible and he is yuck.

    David H. – Well, in the past I have really liked him, but yesterday I stumbled upon the “story” that his job before he did AI was a stripper in a gay strip joint. I am sorry but that in combo with the booger story has made the sight of him make my stomach churn.

    Michael Johns – ho hum it was good enough but I am not that excited.

    David Cook – wow, wowie. I loved it. Had to watch it back twice. It was so good. I am really liking him.

    Jason Castro – I thought he was great too. I really like him. He is a real person. I really wish we could see what he’d look like wiht real hair, but I know that’s not going to happen. These people never change their look except under extreme diress (Clay aiken)

    Chickeise or whatever your name is. IT was better than the judges said, but yeah he hasn’t picked soemthing “perfect for him” yet

    adios? luke and well I’ll be saying a special prayer that it’s Danny.

  4. I don’t think it was humanly possible for David Archuletta to out do his “Imagine” performance from last week so when the judges said it wasn’t as good
    as last week, I thought about giving them awards for being masters of the obvious. It was still great, though, and I love that kid.

    Now on to David Cook. I have never liked him before last night. However, the way he made a Lionel Richie song rock and sound nothing like Lionel was amazingly
    gratifyng to me. (And since I am married to the man to whom the Lionel picture was dedicated, you can believe me when I say I’ve heard my share of Lionel.)

    Danny Noriega: I think we can all agree that we’re at least grateful that all he said was that he was tripped in front of his crush and didn’t regail us
    with the details of the fact that his crush was a similarly girl’s jeans wearing, hair product embracing, 13 year old boy. Holy Grotesqueness Batman!

  5. I love A.I. I feel like there was a few standouts and a few let downs. Overall, a pretty good show, of course, I love 80’s music.

    My favorite of the night was definitely David Cook and like Angie, I had to watch it twice. I also loved Jason’s performance. I think he is my top guy. I find him very interesting.

    I can’t stand Luke, please say he is gone this week. Unfortunately, I think Danny Noreiga may be in this competition for weeks to come, I think he might have a big fan base, please prove me wrong.

    I wish I could be a guest at the White Eyebrows house of American Idol sometime, maybe someday.

  6. I know Vote For the Worst (the website that kept Sanjaya in the competition) has picked Danny for their vote for him thing. Please let it not work. I can’t stand him.

  7. That picture of Lionel is going up on the wall at our house. And Jason IS Legolas meets Rapunzel. Nice work.

  8. Mike Johns stunk. Randy comment. you bozo, the song was by simple minds and Jim Kerr not INXS and the dead michal hutchens.

  9. One final comment.. how can it be 80’s week with not stray cat strut. Sam were you totally disappointed.

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