This is part six of the series Celebrating Singleness…
I’ve never fit neatly into predefined social circles.
Never been athletic enough to fit in with the sporty people, never liked the right music for the clubbers and party-ers, never wore the right sunglasses for the cool people, or cared enough about my looks for the fashionable. Never bling-blinged enough for the rich, and never ate at the right places for the foodies.
You can say that at one time I fit pretty well with the potpourri of artistic and talented people (mostly because they are perhaps the most unassuming when it comes to who/what is a part of them), but that I only lasted until I became their boss, and then it didn’t work so well anymore as my talents began to be recognized as administrative rather than artistic.
The good news is, in spite of this slightly schizophrenic social identity, which seems to weave in and out of recognizable social groups, I’ve mostly been OK with who I am. I’ve not been super depressive or wanted to jump off a cliff. I’ve just always been friendly to pretty much anyone who would give me the time of day, and I only expect the same simple courtesy in return. (Cause let’s just face it, there are some people who are just way too good, or too busy, or too successful for this basic behavior…)
So how do I draw my social circle? I’m not really sure. Sometimes I have stood as an island, while other times I have felt like one of the crowd.
As crazy humans, we like to categorize things. It’s how our brain organizes our world. We like to classify each other: She’s the smart one. He’s the nice one. She’s the sporty one. He’s the cool one. But I’m not ever quite sure what it is I am to others, which is why 1/2 the time I just flippantly refer to myself as the WhiteEyebrowed freak.
And maybe that’s what I am… a freak. Isn’t that the word we use to describe those that we can’t really neatly categorize based on their unusual traits?
In that case, I think I’m happy to be a freak.
So this is where the Celebrating Singleness part comes in… see, most single people are just trying to find the lid for their pot. They try to find someone who shares the same values, priorities, interests, and patterns that they subscribe to. They are looking for someone who fits, and so looking in their natural social circle makes a lot of sense.
So I approach this blog today with a question (rather than a solution to my own problem): How do the freaks find the lid for their pot?
Until now my tactic has been to simply welcome anyone into my personal circle who can stand to take the schizophrenic ride. The only other option seems to be executing a serious mental/physical/emotional makeover to make me neatly fit into someone’s predefined expectation…. which isn’t happening. So hopefully someday I’ll find that special someone who wants to take the WhiteEyebrowed ride for the rest of their life.
In the meantime, I guess all I can do is keep celebrating my singleness!
8 thoughts on “Celebrating Singleness: Drawing Your Social Circle”
Party on, W.E. I personally vow to hate whomever you end up with if it’s as a result of a massive remodel of wht we have all come to love in our one and only W.E. If it’s a freak you are then fly your freak flag with pride. Two snaps up, Mao!
Oh wow. Restraining self to not make joke. Ok disaster averted. I have always subscribed to the Friends analogy of “finding your lobster”. I have to admit everytime I go to a major public place I wonder how people who are so bizarre all seem to have that special someone. How magical.
Anyways. In contrast to the lobster theory, I was talking to Alison just yesterday about the bird and rhino theory of love. Maybe that’s what these people have. I believe the correct word is a symbiotic relationship, but we were calling it pathogenic. Some people are just birds looking for a rhino they can pick on and steal crumbs from and basically annoy but the rhino keeps on with their thick skin. Word. I am not that rhino.
What about being a social chameleon(sp?)-they can blend in with many different groups while still maintaining their own identity. If you know who you are, stick with it. No serious mental/physical/emotional makeovers, please! You’ll only make yourself miserable. Neat social circles are great for people who haven’t figured out who they are yet. Consider yourself a step ahead.
Oh and PS, giving credit where due to Erika for the Lids/Pots analogy.
I like the song “Crazy Like You” by Josh Grider. It has these great lines:
“I’m lookin for someone who’s track’s ‘ll fit my train”
“I say everybody’s crazy so what you gonna do
You need to find somebody crazy like you”
Ever heard of the phrase “Opposites Attract”? It’s true. That’s why we look at certain couples
and go, “How did THEY end up together?” Because even though you may or may not be in a particular
social circle, sometimes you have to look outside that circle to find someone who truly compliments
you. I mean let’s face it. I don’t want to marry someone who is just like me and likes all the
same things I do and nothing more. I want someone who will introduce me to new things and make
me a better person and vice versa. The End.
Hey freak! Can you still call yourself “White Eyebrows” when you technically do not have white eyebrows at the moment? I’m confused. :/
Oh! And I would like you to take a nice, long look at the last sentence in that last paragraph of yours and tell me if you do not see that Micheal Scott’s favorite joke could be used flawlessly in response. Erica may be able to exercise restraint, but I cannot (shocker!). hehehehehe.
I get it now. Ha. ha. ha.