Author: Sam Anderson

SYTYCD – Top 12 Reviews

So You Think You Can… make stupid dances? That was the theme of last night’s competition anyways. I really didn’t like any of the choreographed routines. Even my perennial favorite Mia Michaels came up short of my expectations. Sad… I guess we can’t all be as BRILLIANT as the guest judge last night. WOW. Can you say, “I’m ramblin’, I’m ramblin’ Yeah?” Whats up with Mary Murphy? I liked her better when she was just a little on the drunken wild side. Lately she’s suddenly decided she wants to get all authoritative and judge-ie. Doesn’t she know her job as the one in the middle is to just be sugar and spice and everything nice… like PAULA!

OK. But now to the dancers.

Sabra and Dominic are still my favorite couple. I have to remind myself every time I see him that he came into this competition as a beat boy. He’s not a brilliant technician like Danny, but his heart is in every dance he does, and he’s 100% committed to it. That’s not to say they weren’t good technicians… look at their synchronization on soem of the moves. It is right on.

Pacha and Anya – I HATED the dance. I hated the costumes. I hated the music. I’m sure mitch thorougly enjoyed the return to his boyhood 80’s love child, but BLAH! Dumb boring. The best part of this dance were the the little Fosse bits. I like Pacha. He’s in my top 3. Anya, bottom 3.

Danny and whoever. Danny you’re brilliant. The leaps are like magic. Some dancers have this amazing ability to almost stall in mid air when doing leaps, jumps, and turns. The only other person I knew who could do it was Troy Edward Bowles… but I digress. You have that amazing quality. The problem is you have no personality and your face is shiny and sweaty. People don’t like sweat.

Neal and Whoever… you guys were good. I didn’t love the routine, but you have improved. Your on the proverbial fence with me. Neal has shown great improvement going from mr dancer/acrobat/actor to a full fledged dancer. Plus, his hair always looks like some different incarnation of an ocean wave. That’s worth something.

Hok and Curly Haird Chick: Hok… you’re going home dude. You’ve been too weak and got a slew of bad style choices in a row. I never thought I’d see the day when Dominic would kick your tush all over the stage, but he has. Curly haired chick, you were actually really good, and I hope you stay in. But you’ve got to show a little personality.

Lacie and What’s your face: Ok. Time for a “come to Jesus” talk. Lacie, you are a brilliant dancer which you’ve proven time and time again. You lack the spark that Benji had and you come off as very full of yourself, which he didn’t. Sorry you have to be compared, but you’re the one who brought him into this thing. Whats your face… you are gone. You have been like (as Tracie puts it) the little pole she’s been dancing around for several weeks. You are in my bottom 3. Lacie… you are scraping by, but in the top 3.

It will be odd to see who gets voted off. I can’t put any girl up… If i had to it would be Anya, but she really doesn’t deserve to go home yet. I would give up Hok or Lacie’s partner easily.

See you in the top 10!

SYTYCD – Top 14 Reviews

Stop your panic! I apologize for the recent quietness of this blog, but don’t worry. I am back with more stinging commentary on America’s favorite (and not so favorite) dancers.

Let me start by saying that I really don’t feel like I’ve spent enough time talking smack about Lacie’s partner’s pink highlighted mohawk. What is going on in our society? Are mohawks really coming back in? I am truly not ready for that. Apparently they are all the rage in LA. I’m just not ready for Mr. T and all things 80’s to be back yet. I’m not old enough for that kind of resurgence. I’m moving to Zimbabwe when hammer pants come back in!!!

Lacie looked great… oh yeah and she danced good too. She isn’t Benji though, and she isn’t as likable as he is. I think she is getting far on being his sister, not necessarily on her own personality. I wonder when the honeymoon will be over and she’ll have to stand on her own two feet?!

It is now official… I HAVE MADE MY PICK! My pick for this year’s winner is Dominic. Yes, I’m picking a b-boy, and this is why. I thought he would last about 10 seconds in the big competition, and that he would never be able to dance other styles. Well, he has totally proven me wrong. He is shining in every style he tries, and is not afraid to wear the funny looking clothes and shoes that go with. Oh yeah, and the “french accent” comment totally sealed the deal for me. He is a great dancer, young, charming, funny, humble. a great personality. And also… a boy. It is near impossible for a girl to win this competition given its overwhelming majority of female viewers.

Let me also say that Dominic and Sabra’s dance last night was my absolute fav. It was rockin’ hip hop, but wasn’t all about guns, drugs, and hoes. It was softer and beautiful. I would watch it again.

Can I say that I disagreed with the judges? I though Pasha and Anya were not that great. I thought it was fun, but not great. I thought it was really kind of cool and weird that Benji and Heidi choreographed it though. They looked off balance and just frenetic the whole time. Maybe I just misjudged West Coast Swing, but it did not look like it does when Benji and Heidi do it!

Can I also say that Cedric is horrible. He’s terrible. He is quickly becoming the Sanjaya of this competition; the elephant in the room. That is a mambo that Jerome Robbins would be so appalled by. Certainly not worthy of West Side Story!!! I hope the judges take their final opportunity tonight and let him go before they put America fully in charge.

Let me just say that I’m pulling for Neil. And this is for no other reason than he is the only white dude in this competition. Enough said. (I know there are other white boys… but he is a WHITE boy… if you know what I mean.)

Sarah is totally surprising me too. She is a total renaissance woman. She can do it all. I wouldn’t be surprised if she went far given her broad appeal.

I hated the waltz that Hok and whats her face did too. Hok just looks so unnatural and nervous. He isn’t handling all these styles very well. But they do get the award for funnest little video package where they won’t admit they have a little crush going on between them. Definitely in the bottom 3 this week. I think she has a real chance of going home soon. She is just not very memorable.

I think Shauna might be in the bottom 3 today. Its sad because she is a good contemporary dancer. I think Danny might be in there again too. I think the hairspray guy had a point there. I think he knows how good he is and while he isn’t arrogant about it, per se, he does expect a pass. Like, “hey I’m so good, so why wouldn’t everyone want to vote for me, duh… I was teachers pet for all my dance teachers.”

All in all, a good top 7. But Cedric, you gotta go.

SYTYCD – Top 18 Reviews

Top 18… and for the record, I called it. The awkward long haired sweaty guy was kicked off last week! ha ha. I don’t know why Mia Michaels liked him so much…

But anyway, lets let bygones be bygones.

Lets start with the best this week:

The viennese waltz with Danny and Anya.. wow. That was nice! The music was perfect and the dancing was beautiful. The twirly thing they did made me a little sick, though. But if you watch it close, they are like totally in sync.

My 2nd favorite, was the bird dance, with Russian dude and totally hot chick. Wow… that was way fun, and he is a good dancer. Not just one of those silly one trick ponies.

Close third is the breaker dude and the poofy hair afro chick. Mostly I really liked the choreography… they did it OK, and I guess it was a huge breakthrough for him, but it would have looked better with some real contemporary dancer dude.

Now lets talk about music. The paso double was a wreck with “We Will Rock You”. What an awful choice.

Ok… now on to weird crap…

Why is it that Mia Michaels takes like 23.6 minutes to actually get out a coherent sentence. She is the very definition of babbling to make a point. She often has one, and it’s often valid, but it just takes her a while to get there. Favorite quote, “I love birds… and you guys are my favorite birds.”

And what is up with Benji’s sister and her sluttyness. She is like all over mr spiky hair dude, and they really pushed the All That Jazz number to the absolute most skanky it could be. That’s the thing… they pushed sexy to skanky.

Losers tonight… hauk… he sucked. If he doesn’t get more chances to show off his freestyling, he won’t last much longer.

Cedric… I just don’t like him. He looks awkward at everything… so is his partner Faina. Go home.

I really haven’t picked a clear favorite yet in this competition. My vote is still up in the air.

SYTYCD – Top 20 Reviews

Hello American Idol Whiteeyebrows fans. Summer is here, the air is clear, and months of pointless reality television is at our fingertips. Yeah, don’t be banking on any new exciting programming this year. Don’t worry… “Big Brother” is on for season number EIGHT! It’s true, we will never get sick of network sanctioned voyeurism.

Well, since there are no great new series on until the fall, I am happy to bring you the So You Think You Can Dance blog this summer!!

Let me preface by saying that I got hooked on this show last season. I wasn’t incredibly excited by it at first, but by the end I was hooked. Why? The main reason is that the choreography is top notch! I don’t know how these guys do it, but week after week they come up with the most incredible dances. If you enjoy american idol, and you enjoy dance, you will enjoy this show. It is young, fresh and hip.

And this season started with a BANG!

My favorite dance of the night was Mia Michaels’ contemporary routine for Lacey and what’s his name. I say Lacey and what’s his name because that dance was all about her. She had the coolest jumps and leaps, and the story of the dance was beautiful and sad. It was something I definitely wanted to keep watching. If he wasn’t so good, she would have looked bad, so I do have to give what’s his name credit, but the beauty of the emotion of that dance was clearly focused on her. Nice work Benji’s sister. You have an automatic following in Benji’s fans. Just be as endearing as he was. Don’t get all cocky flaunting around your titles. Just bring it.

My biggest disappointment in the choreography was from Shane Sparks. Neither of his hip hop routines really got me out of my seat. They were good, but not great. He could have utilized Hauk’s unique abilities more.

Oh, wow. And lets talk about the smooth waltz. I forgot who did it. I think it was the russian dude, but DANG… it was beautiful! And the chick’s dress was absolutely gorgeous! Mary was right, there wasn’t a girl in the room who didn’t wish that was her up there.

Now, let’s talk about the theme for this year’s top 20. Lanky, lanky, lanky dudes. What is up with these ambiguously raced men who are like 7 feet tall with ape arms. It just looks a little out of proportion. Their extensions (and no, I don’t mean hair extensions…) are generally nice (cause they are so huge, you can’t help but notice them), but i just keep waiting for someone to lose an eye. I pretty much want them all to go, and to go fast. There are at least 3 of them, but if you line them up arm to arm they could probably span the entire LA area.

Hauk is probably the coolest dancer on the show this year. He already gets my cool award. He will definitely bring it in the hip hop and pop styles, but i worry about his Viennese Waltz. 🙂 We’ll see how long he can last against some of the more versatile dancers.

One other plus, is that many of the female dancers are very nice to look at. The chick who quit her job, especially. Wow. That is just natural beauty. I think I’d quit my job just to go salivate over her full time.

I’m excited to see what the beat boys (and girl) will do this year. I think they are some of the strongest they have ever had. It’s always really funny to watch them learn latin dancing though, and falling on their rear ends. I’m sure we’ll get plenty of that with Cedric and Dominic (doo rag boy).

In conclusion, here are the people I am already sick of. You know there is something dreadfully wrong with them if they’ve only had like 5 total minutes of camera time and I’m already throwing the tomatoes… in any case: Ricky, you gotta go. The whole sweaty greasy long hair weirdness is just messed up. You are really strange and say even stranger things. You looked so awkward with your partner (she was like 12 inches taller than you), and you just don’t seem like you can handle this. Secondly, Faina. Yeah, you’re the one who faked a collapse during vegas week, and who looked like you were suffering through a root canal yesterday during your dance. It just wasn’t good, and I’m already sick of you.

Well… that’s about all, dance fans. See you next week!

American Idol – Top 3 Results Show

Special Edition today! As you may have seen last night, my first pick, my woman, my TV love affair, Melinda, was voted off of American Idol last night. I just wanted everyone to know I am doing OK. I’m… *sniff*… struggling… a little today… emotionally… as well as… spiritually… from the great upset; but I really was prepared for the worst.

Last night’s show was fun. I love watching the films of when they go home and throw pitches and get keys to cities. Seeing Jordin go back to her high school reminds us that she is seventeen. Watching Blake go back to Poduncville Washington was funny too. Melinda of course had to stop in at the holy rollers and feel the love…

Perhaps the HIGHLIGHT of last night was seeing Elliot Yamin again. After tens of thousands of dollars of oral surgery, he has a beautiful, brilliant set of chompers… but he didn’t need them. His voice could get him anywhere he ever wanted to go. I’m not one of THOSE people, but after he sang, I popped on over to iTunes and bought his album. It is awesome. I love the unique ‘poppy white boy R&B’ that he sings. It is a really great album!

Also, I got to thinking… American Idol is not as much a singing competition as we hoped it is. It is a popularity contest. Think last year… my picks were Chris Daughtry, who got kicked off early, then Elliot Yamin becasue of his amazing vocal talent. We all knew he was going on Top 3 night he just couldn’t compete with the bomb shell and the strange grey haired 26 year old. Once again this year, the true talent is left behind for the young bomb shell and the slighly odd, yet hip, guy.

Now… this is why I’m not sad today. This is just enough start for Melinda to go out there and launch a music career with less stigma from the AI thing.

Also, this makes me care a little less that I won’t be seeing next tuesday’s show. I’ll be in a car headed for Utah… arg!

American Idol – Top 3 Reviews

Here we are, in the top 3. The semi-finals. Can you believe it? Seems like just yesterday we were watching the “bush monkey” and the michael jackson look alikes. Where does the time go!?

Melinda –
Gaaaaaarl! It is confirmed. Simon’s shameless plugging for you to be in the finale confirms you are not only MY girl, but you are also Simon’s girl. This brings me and simon even closer together than we were before. Perhaps we could start our own doo-wop group together.

Your first song, the Whitney Houston song, was great. I thought your voice sounded a little scary in parts, but you did it justice. Best whitney song I’ve heard on American Idol, by far! Your first dress, though, left something to be desired. You always go for these drab black, white, and grey numbers. You need to spice it up a bit more… youth it up.

Your second song was absolutely incredible. It took me back to ROCK week, when you proved you were the woman for this job! You are like a little Tina Turner, except we can stand to look at you and to hear you sing. I liked the crazy hair too. That was fun.

Your last song W-O-M-A-N was a little anti-climactic for me. I liked your little tribute to the backup singers. They are always HOT, but the song itself didn’t end your night with a bang. However, it was still good enough to garner praise from me, america, and our favorite AI judge.

Jordin –
I liked your first song, “wishing on a star,” but I didn’t think you really got it… the song, that is. Your voice was in good form though. I liked your clothes last night, on the whole too. You are doing pretty dang well. I think.

Your second song the producers chose was just ok. You were working hard for your money, but you didn’t really earn it in my opinion. Those bigger songs kind of eat you alive (remember rock week?), so to stay safe you’ll have to stick with easier, more longingly pining torch song-esque, material.

By the way… did you have your nose ring out last night? I didn’t see it in. You trying to get a more “good girl” image going? Whats the thought behind that? When you take out a nose ring, you do leak air through the hole, I wonder? Like does it make your breathing easier? Hmm… get back to me on that one.

Your third song, I thought was good (I love the song), but not great. You don’t make me jump out of my seat like I do for melinda. Sorry girl.

Blake-
Sit down with me, and we need a little talk. You’ve had it rough from the beginning. It was clearly a woman’s competition this year, and you’ve hung on the longest. You survived the beat boxing nightmares, you survived being “not-chris”. You even survived Barry Gibbb week (wow)… I respect you for that. Never mind that you are more of a really cool DJ who can kinda sing. I’m pulling for you to have a career, but not win this thing.

Your songs last night were really well picked. The first song was a lock, except you sang it like a weiner. I’m sick of that longing pining stretchy mouth face weinering into the camera. You could have really rocked on that, and just kind of did it. I’m not saying you have to do it like Moulin Rouge, i’m just saying you dont’ have to make every song into a white-boy’s R&B.

The 2nd song, the Maroon 5, was probably your best song this season. It fit your voice perfectly, it fit your image perfectly, and gave you a little bit of an opportunity to do your unique sound effects. It’s a little late to be discovering yourself now, but if you had it to do over again, you should have stuck with more of that.

Your 3rd song was good. It was odd, reflective of your odd journey through this thing. At times you seemed a little lost to me, but you made it out the other end.

Now it’s on to predictions:
I have long thought that this was going to be a woman’s year, and it would be only fitting that the girls with the highest stock are Jordin and Melinda. That is my prediction for what will happen – girl on girl for the finale!

However… the most MARKETABLE image for the finale would be Blake and Jordin. Youth, vitality, color.

However… I would LIKE to see Blake and Melinda duke it out. They are both very unique, very specific personalities. I think melinda would win it between the two of them.

In general i’m afraid for my Melinda because if blake or jordin goes, most of their votes will bleed for the other, not jump ship for Melinda. In the finale, she will have to prove she is young and hip, and wipe the floor with the lilly livered pansy who has the misfortune of being her competition.

American Idol – Top 4 Reviews

What a difference a week makes!! Down to FOUR contestants and ONE very legendary BARRY GIBB. Now, I’ll be honest, I didn’t grow up in the 70’s. I didn’t have dance fever or saturday night fever or any other day of the week fever. I have largely believed the Barry Gibb songs I’ve heard in the past are at best simply annoying and at worst an acid trip gone wrong, fraught with mirrored balls and pink elephants. However, last night proved that there is ONE AND ONLY Barry Gibb, and he ALONE can get away with singing those songs. (thank the dear heavens above!)

Let’s break it down.

Melinda –
The first song wasn’t good. Lacked spark. Lacked spunk. You ARE my woman, but as my woman, I feel I need to inform you of your head shaking. Sometimes its like you’re pulling a Michael J Fox when you’re singing… it’s like “I can’t think of anything else to do but shake my head NO NO NO.” Sometimes the beauty is when you’re singing NO NO NO and you are saying YES YES YES. That makes no sense. Just do more of what you were doing last week, and we can remain friends.

Your second song was wonderful. I felt you more for reals on that one. Your second dress was very beautiful, but you seem to be wearing some drab colors these days. Mix it up a bit more or Jordin will take her little multi-cultural hiney and bump you right out of the spotlight.

KiKi (as yo momma calls you) –
Girl… you are vulnerable. Your stayin’ alive was more like “stayin’ freaking depressing”. How can you take THE classic disco song of the 70’s and make me not want to get up out of my seat and dance?!?! That is just sad.

I didn’t even remember your 2nd song, cause of the dress choice. Ugh. “Thing One” and “Thing Two” have REEMERGED!!! We thought they were safe and secure under ten yards of fabric, but then BOOP… out they come bouncin’ all around again along with your flabby arms. HUH??? I can’t hear you over the flapping sounds!

I hope you’re gone tonight. It’s been a good run, but your baby misses you. America won’t so much. Good luck back in the church choir.

Blake –
Dude… you can’t catch a break. The judges give you a hard time when you beat box. I won’t… except to say, sometimes it works better than others. I’m glad your hip, new, and you. I’m ok with that. I’m not OK with you beatboxing to cover the fact that you can’t really sing, which we were reminded of last night. When you were trying the Barry Gibb falsetto, you were all over the place. It’s hard, I know.

The first suit reminded me of Dr. Evil. You will be safe because of the teeny-bopper vote, because they are all sad that you got a hard time from the judges.

Jordin –
I was nervous that you’d show up my woman, Melinda. I’ll admit round 1 went to you, but you kind of stunk it up on the 2nd song. I didn’t think it was horrible, but it had issues. And your dress was a little… hmm… cross between a princess, a bad prom dress, and a banana. You’ve had a rough 2 weeks. You guys have to really pull out the stops to get this won. 3 weeks ago, I was afraid of the momentum you were gathering. Right now, it’s kind of just sitting there with you. If you make the right moves in the next 2 weeks, you will win this thing.

Bottom line:
(American Idol + (3 Girls + 1 Guy) + Barry Gibb) = (CRAPPY top 4 show)

Please fix that for the next couple weeks.

PS > I’m really excited for this song writing thing. I hope they get better songs for the top two than they had last year… the Make you Proud song that Taylor sang just got WAY TOO OLD!

American Idol – Top 6 (Again) Reviews

Top… errr… What do I call this? It is supposed to be the top 5, but I guess I still have to call it Top 6 because of last week’s free ride. It’s at this stage of the competition that things start getting interesting. Votes move all over the place every week. Who will stay, who will go? Who will pull a rabbit out of the hat?

Phil –
It was good. Going first was the best thing that could happen for you. You had a real opportunity to get everyone going, and you did. Had you sung that song last, it wouldn’t have been as impressive. I’m still not convinced that you’re an American Idol though. There’s really not much to idolize about you. You have a spotty voice, a strange personality, and no hair. Pleeeeease. The last time we idolized someone with no hair, it was Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Enterprise. You are in the Danger zone tonight. My prediction is, you’re going home.

Jordin –
GAAAAARL! What were you thinking. For the first time I saw a 17 year old up there. A little shaky, trying to be something she isn’t. With the crazy hair and the pink streaks… shucky darn. If you had sung like that in the auditions, you would have not made it to Hollywood. I think you’re safe because of your past performances, and the fact that the judges have all but given you your tiara early, American Idol 2007. If I have my way, though. It will be between you and Melinda in the top 2. Age vs Experience. Youth vs Skill. The dark side vs. MY WOMAN!

Lakisha “Kiki” –
I love calling you KiKi, cause it’s just so… black. You were actually quite good tonight, and you dropped some of that post-performance prententious attitude. The moment when you planted it on Simon will live in my memory forever. In fact, I have that video just looping in my head. Whenever you’re feeling down, whenever you’re having a bad day, just think of KiKi’s HUGEAMONGOUS lips wrapped around Simon’s mouth leaving 10 pounds of color and gloss…. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I wonder if she slipped him the tongue… hehhehe…

Blake –
If any of the many sides of Blake will come close to winning this competition, it will be the one we saw last night. The hip, adventurous, musician Blake. I was excited in the first few weeks that he was trying to show some musicianship and doing his own arrangments of things. Since it burned him that once, he has played it safe by just singing to the 15 year olds with his puppy dog eyes and weird mouth. However, he will get killed by any other singer in this competition; so he has to do something different. If he has any hope of making it to the top, he will have to beatbox his way there… and be BRILLIANT doing it.

Chris –
Dude… sorry. You’re back to being “not blake” now. Your song was kind of pitiful. You can’t rock like bon jovi, and you tried. That was your fatal flaw. You shoudl have come out juggling and scatting. Maybe you can spin plates on the sticks, you didn’t do your “r&b thing” like Randy said. I think you’re in the danger zone as well. Possibly off tonight.

Melinda –
My love, my darling. You were phenomenal. This was one of my favorite songs you’ve done, and you were totally in a different league than the others. I really liked the personality you showed in the video beforehand… you kept the cute deer in the headlights Melinda, but you added a little humor and self-deprication. Nice work. What I liked the most about your performance was the element of subtext you had during your song. You didn’t just “sing it pretty” or “sing it good” but you sang the crap out of it. When you sang “Have a Nice Day” it was more like “Get out of my face.” That’s the mark of a great artist… layers. See you at the finale.

Tomorrow will prove to be a wild night. They are adding all the votes from last week and all the votes from this week. I have a feeling we are in for some surprises.