You know that really awesome Leona Lewis song, “Bleeding Love”? Well, I keep bleedin’, keep keep bleedin’ out my 401k!
A few months ago, I wrote a post talking about this supposed recession and how I had yet to see any real signs of something they had been talking about for months already…
Well, here is your sign:
BREAK OUT YOUR TEXAS TRUCK AGAIN!
PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE GAS!
You were probably thinking to yourself, “I wonder what W.E. thinks about this ‘bail out’ thing that is all over the news.”
Well, I’ll tell you.
Seven years ago, terrorists flew airplanes at us thinking that they could drastically disrupt the United States economic and governmental systems with their actions. If nothing else, they hoped to send a strong signal to America that it had enemies, and that not everyone in the world approved of our way of life.
In the weeks and months after that tragedy, in spite of the country’s mourning, we proved that we would not be threatened, and we would not live in fear. We would continue. Markets opened, the government continued to operate, and the American way continued. We proved, once again, that no external threat or influence could severely disrupt our way of life for long, and that we would confront our enemies wherever they lived to secure our future.
This last week, however, has unmasked a much more dangerous threat to our American way of life. It turns out that our worst enemy hasn’t been a bunch of terrorists in a training camp half a world away, turns out the biggest threat to our very way of life has been sitting right under our noses in downtown New York City, parading around in dark suits and expensive shoes.
First of all, let me apologize for my lack of posting in this fine month of August. I realize that many of you rely on WhiteEyebrows.com for your daily dose of propaganda, intellectual stimulation, humor and mirth, and so I profusely apologize for the acute absence of said things this past week. (Especially the mirth)
This blog is going to be a bit of a scattered catch-up (as opposed to a Catsup or Ketchup).
Well, I’m more than halfway through my vacation, and I am proud to report that I have stimulated the economy now in 3 states.
President Bush and our lovely Congress gave we single people $600 to stimulate the economy, so here is a small sampling of my economic stimulus activities:
Earlier this year, I wrote about the coming economic storms and how the word “bagel” was my euphemism for a recession.
Well, here we are about six months later and we still have not had an official bagel yet – that we know of – but we are enjoying record high prices on almost every staple of life, from gas to food to iPhones…. oh wait… iPhones are cheaper than they’ve ever been. Never mind on the whole “staples of life” bit.
As most boys do, we enjoyed a little rough-housing with my dad when we were little. The rough housing endgame was usually one of three torture mechanisms:
We knew that if Dad could get us into one of these positions, the fight was over and we would have to yield, so our main goal was to stay out of the Whose-Gow, Nevada Torture, or Whisker Pie.
Well, I feel like the universe currently has me in all three of these at the same time… And what am I referring to?
Gas Prices!
Continue reading The Whose-Gow, Nevada Torture, and Whisker Pie
I hope you enjoyed the few days I gave you off of reading this blog last week. Here are some random thoughts to get the week going… Continue reading A Few Thoughts