Top 5 Reviewed

I had to record American Idol last night and watched it super-late again. When I tried to pull up the recording, at first it didn’t appear. I about had a complete and total meltdown… a total fit. it’s been a rough little while in the WhiteEyebrows world, and this certainly didn’t help… at all!

Then, as if the heavens opened and someone smiled down upon me, the recording magically appeared and magically worked!

Can I just say that I am so incredibly excited for Neil Diamond night!! I think Neil Diamond is perhaps one of the most incredible singer/songwriter and all-around good guys who exist. Why are all of today’s super-talented people complete freaks? Why can’t they just be normal like Neil Diamond and Paul Simon? Sure his music can be a little one-dimensional and void of different flavors, but it is still classic.

Now to the review…

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American Idol – You are on Notice!

I’m watchin American Idol right now, and just found out my woooooman, Syesha, is in the bottom two.

I am just so frustrated, I couldn’t be more more more upset. How, how, how in the world could her amazing performance have not risen above Brooke’s biggest gaffe in AI history and Jason’s greatest slaughtering of a song since Sanjaya?

All I can hope now is that Carly offended the Christian sensibilities of Americans and she will go…

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Top 6 Reviewed

Let’s start with two important points:

1. Of all our contestants, who do you think would be the one to mix it up this week? Who is going for the freaky arrangement? Not David Cook… Yes… David Archuleta! Surprise!

B. For years now, I have been trying to put into words exactly how I feel about Paula’s clapping… and now Tamara has done it for me…

Paula claps like a child that just discovered her hands.

-TLB

Now to the reviews…

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Will Idol Actually Give Back This Year?

Last year I made no bones about the fact that I thought Idol Gives Back was the most ill-conceived farce to hit the small screen in recent memory. This year they have been even less specific about what Idol Gives Back is going to be.

I suppose since they considered last year such a “success” they figure they don’t need to even announce what the unspecific, fake cause is this year. They are just going to let everyone bleed out money they can’t afford for absolutely no reason. Should I be concerned again? Yes.

Will I still be watching? *sigh* … Of course.

Top 8 Reviewed

Tonight was a slightly disappointing night given the complete liberty the contestants had. Perhaps this actually shows that either 1) they really don’t know who they are as artists yet (even though they are infinitely more talented than last year’s group), or 2) they are just total idiots.

Let’s dig in.

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Top 9 Reviewed

ss_060305_oscar_redcarpet_04widec.jpgWhat can you say about Dolly Parton?

I think Brooke White summed it up: Dolly Parton is this “tiny woman” who is just… … … “huge.”

And she is. Every once in a while I had to pause it just to make sure she wasn’t ‘resting’ on the piano. (she must have the world’s strongest back)

In today’s reviews, I have taken the creative liberty of offering some book deals to the contestants. We’ll see if I am contacted about any of them.

And now for the reviews:

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Reasons I Might be Excited for AI Tonight

Here are just one or two reasons why I just might enjoy tonight’s episode of American Idol…

  1. Maybe Ramiele will do a game of peek-a-boo into the reflective lens of the camera
  2. Maybe Randy will tell us again how many times he worked with every single artist under the sun.
  3. Maybe Jason Castro will accidentally break off another dreadlock, collapse on stage and sob for its loss.
  4. Maybe I’ll start enjoying the shameless hard sell on Coke, Ford, and Apple.
  5. Maybe Michael Johns will do another Queen song (since that’s all he can do).
  6. Maybe it will be Lennon/McCartney/Beatles night AGAIN!
  7. Maybe Archuleta and Brooke will have an all out scripture chase on stage.
  8. Maybe… Um… Well… Actually… Paula will… can put together… there is this idea of… maybe a single… umm… cohesive sentence.
  9. Maybe I’ll get my Braun fix in.
  10. Maybe Simon will be wearing another revealing v-neck.

There’s just OH So much to look forward to…